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Homosexuality
Defined: Relating to or having a sexual orientation to
those of the same sex. This term is generally used in reference to
gay men with the word "lesbian" used
to refer to gay women.
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Gay: A
homosexual person of either sex; usually used in conjunction with the homosexual
culture and community.
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Born Gay or a
Choice?
The most commonly accepted explanation for why it is that
some people are same-sex orientated, while others are only attracted to
the opposite sex, has to do with the idea that it is somehow related to
genetics. However, there are those in the gay community who are just
as adament that their homosexuality was a conscious choice. They
freely decided to be gay. Although, the argument for the "gay gene"
is still theoretical, there is something in the choice approach that speaks
of intellectual honesty. The first is easier to use in justifying
one's gayness but the second will obviously demand a more carefully thought
out explanation should one feel it necessary to explain his/her sexual
preference.
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The Gay Lifestyle...
Gay men, like their female counterparts come in a multitude
of shapes, forms, and types. Not only do they run the course of every
body type imaginable but they range from macho masculine to extremely effeminate
(including transvestites who are female crossdressers). They can
be very quiet people whose sexuality is known by no one (referred to as
living in "stealth mode"), including immediate family members, to openly
aggressive men who use intimidation to get what they want. In between
are every kind and gay type. Like heterosexual people, they are both
varied and complex.
Their social life includes the same interests, activities,
and hobbies that others might enjoy. The only marked difference would
be the gay bars and clubs that are found throughout our cities. No
doubt, most straight people would feel uncomfortable in such a setting.
The clubs can range from a casual dance atmosphere to a leather bar for
the more macho type of homosexual man.
Whatever their preference or choices, they are indeed
human beings placed on this planet for the time that they are given.
They hurt, laugh, dream, and have hopes for the future. To love and
be loved is just as much a part of their makeup as any person.
They are human beings.
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The Bible vs.
Homosexuality Issue...
The Biblical account of God's destruction of Sodom and
Gomorrah, whether it is to be taken literally or allegorically, represents
a strong indication of the Deity's condemnation (as well as that of Biblical
literalists who follow His teachings) of those who are "without natural
affection." Yet, there are those in the gay community who believe
themselves to be very spiritual minded while attending their own churches,
including those who profess to be born-again Christians. However,
they still do not readily find acceptance amongst heterosexuals who are
associated with mainline Christian churches.
Many gay people feel that an attempt to somehow justify
the teachings of the Bible (those who are "without natural affection")
with their own homosexuality is necessary. From an analytical standpoint,
the need to destroy the Biblical credibility asserting that it is a book
of myths is, in fact, an admission of guilt in itself. If one were
to be intellectually honest about the issue, that would have to be the
only possible conclusion.
The bottom line is that gay people are who and what they
are. If Sodom was filled with them, then San Francisco represents
nothing new in the history of mankind. Although, one might argue
that the city's tendency to fall apart during an earthquake is a fulfillment
of the "destroyed by fire and brimstone" scenario and is, therefore, a
clear indication of God's wrath. However, the fact that they keep
rebuilding it, while finding no human bodies which have been turned into
pillars of salt, rather defeats the argument.
The bottom line is that all of us make decisions in life.
Some of them result in all good things; some of them bring terrible consequenses.
Nevertheless, one has to deal with the consequences of his/her own choices.
So, the takeaway here is that feeling the necessity to minimize God in
their thinking to justify their sexual lifestyle could very well indicate
an individual's inability to accept their own homosexuality.
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Gay Issues...
The homosexual community has come out of the closet.
As a result, it now finds itself facing many complex and complicated issues
such as same-sex marriages, palimony
law suits, the HIV epademic, homophobia, etc. All of these concerns
affect gay people in some measure.
However, one of the greatest challenges facing gays is
that of acceptance (or the lack of it) by the heterosexual community.
It lies at the base of all of their social issues. For gay men, this
is especially true. Since lesbians, transsexuals,
transgendered,
and intersexual people have a kind
of sensual attraction to the general population, they are more tolerated.
That is not to say that they don't experience critcism and abuse.
The point here is that men are basically the more violent of the two sexes
and those who feel that their masculinity is threatened by the presence
of a homosexual man are more apt to express their disdain. This has
been historically evidenced over and over again in situations where gay
men have been physically attacked and even murdered.
Interestingly enough, those who have been the most brutal
and violent toward gay people also claim to represent God. As a result,
those who are gay have an inbred fear of Christians; especially those of
the fundamentalist persuasion. One wonders if such believers were
to take the command of their Saviour more seriously in regard to God so
loving the "world that He gave His only begotten Son" what a difference
it might make in the willingness of homosexual people to listen to their
Gospel.
There are more things in this world than most of us can
begin to imagine, let alone comprehend or experience. In the lives
of gay people there are issues that straight people cannot truly relate
to or understand. As one gay young man said to his father, "It's
a tough life, but it's the one I have chosen to live no matter what happens."
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Gay Relationships...
In contrast, gay men are not as monogomous as female homosexuals.
In fact, the general perception is that they are extremely promiscuous.
In some cases, this perception is much deserved. Hearing such men
boast of having had a thousand lovers in their lives has only enforced
this false concept. The truth is that, like any young man, they go
through the same stage of over-experimenting when the "Pandora's Box" of
sexuality is first opened wide. However, the basic human need for
friendship, companionship, and intimately relating to someone special eventually
kicks in. As a result, the time comes when they settle into what
are more stable relationships--some for a lifetime.
In a world dominated by heterosexuals, those who have
chosen the gay lifestyle are not understood in the same context that the
word "love" implies. Yet, the reality is that there is little difference
except for the fact that these are same-sex relationships.
Romance is not limited
to heterosexuals. It is alive and well amongst all those who belong
to the gay community, whether they be men, women, bisexuals, or transsexuals,
etc.
Even though our society has become more tolerant of those
who choose this lifestyle, there are still many who cannot or will not
accept gay people. The challenge to live peaceably and in harmony
with those around them is a constant one that will never go away.
Whether it's a passing stranger whose expression denotes disapproval or
a beloved family member who feigns love without providing any support,
there will always be those who focus only on their sexuality while failing
to recognize them as real people.
Disagree with their choice if you will, but keep in mind
that people are human beings regardless of their sexual orientation.
How we treat each other goes a long way in demonstrating our own humanity,
or lack of it.
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© all rights reserved - 1/1/2002
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The mission of this not-for-profit website is to promote clear insights
and toleration regarding the many variations of primary relationships that
exist in our world. We ask for neither acceptance or approval but
hope that each visitor who reviews the pages of this site will leave them
with a better understanding of the numerous cultural, historical, preferential,
religious, sexual, and sociological approaches to coupling that have always
existed and will continue to exist as long as there are at least two human
beings living on this planet. If the effort put into creating and
maintaining this site results in others coming to the realization that
the basic human need to love and be loved takes on many forms which are
accepted by those who practice them, whether right or wrong as determined
by the personal belief system of others, then it will have served it's
purpose well. |
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