Takes Two to do the Tango...
Sex usually takes at least two people (without going into the
many facets of polyamory).
That being said, it becomes obvious that some kind of mutual agreement
has to be reached at any given time regarding what is allowable and what
is not when enjoying intimate moments
The different types of sexual play that humans have come
up with is absolutely amazing--everything from tender lovemaking to sadomasochism
(deriving pleasure from inflicting or receiving pain during sex) and so
much more in between.
The point is that lovers need to decide together whether
or not they are willing to extend the borders of their intimacy.
Coercian and force are not ways to convince a partner that what you want
is okay for him/her as well. A truly loving, caring person will always
be willing to back off if the other partner shows any kind of aversion
to any type of sexual play. Both of you will need to give the other
the freedom to say "no" if there is an objection to any kind of sexual
practice that is not mutually acceptable.
Sex is not the determining factor.
Love is what makes a relationship
Only Takes One to End the Dance...
The following is a short compilation of sexual activities which
may or may not be acceptable to your lover. Again, make absolutely
sure that both of you are agreeable to these types of human sexuality.
Also, determine where the lines are to be drawn ahead of time. If
one of you sets a boundry that is more narrow than the other, then defer
to the more conservative approach. Otherwise, you could be playing
with fire here that could potentially destroy your relationship.
With those thoughts in mind, here are some of the various
types of sexual fetishes with a brief description of each one...
Bondage: This could range from light to
very extreme. The milder forms include anything from handcuffs to
tying the wrists and ankles together or creating a "spread eagle" effect
by extending the ropes from the four corners of the bed. If your
partner agrees to mild bondage, be sure not to loop the actual rope around
his/her hands and feet. Either use small pet collars or purchase
a kit for this purpose from an adult novelty shop. The more extreme
form of bondage uses mouth gags, head masks, collars, nipple clamps, chains,
ceiling hooks, whips, and several other items we are not able to mention
here. Again, be sure that your partner is clearly accepting of any
of these practices. Anyone who inflicts bondage upon an unwilling
lover is no lover at all. Inflicting pain on one's lover is
not an act of love. Bondage is not pain--but restraint. If
that turns both of you on, then fine. If not, avoid this one altogether.
Cross-dressing: This involves role
reversal and is enjoyed by those who practice it. The clothing of
the opposite sex, usually lingerie for the male, with the female taking
on the dominant role is the common scenario. Again, a mutual
agreement to introduce this into your lovemaking practices is necessary.
There are also some very mild variations of this that would be more acceptable
Dirty Talking: To some, this is
a real turn on when certain words trigger a sense of erotica. To
others, it can have the exact opposite affect and be a complete turn off.
Whatever you do, be sure not to use words that are demeaning or insulting.
The idea here is to stimulate and intensify the experience--not to belittle
the one you love.
Fetishes: Sex practices based on
specific parts of the human anatomy or female attire are common.
The list would include breasts, legs, feet, nylons, rubber wear, leather,
etc. In fact, there are too many to name here just as there are anotomical
parts on a human being. For example, some men are really drawn
to a woman's feet. As long as it results in gentle touching,
stimulating carresses, as well as his wanting to purchase feminine footwear
(e.g. 5" spiked heels, etc.) for her, then it can be mutually enjoyable.
This kind of thing is for those who have a specific focus and, again, should
be pleasurable for both of you. Again, the idea of agreement between
the two of you when practicing any fetish should be decided on before doing
Sadomasachism: This involves inflicting
some kind of pain on a submissive partner. It can involve using a
small whip to gently slap the body, producing sexual arrousal, or can involve
some extremely violent acts. If one's partner is not agreeable to
this, it should not be considered any further. If you do practice
it, the term "safe sex" takes on another meaning and you would do well
to be extremely careful. This is practiced by a very small
minority of people with most of our population considering it to be too
extreme. The results can be tragic. Couples should not enter
into this kind of thing without being extremely cautious. Not only
that, but this is definitely one area of human fetish practice that can
spell a great deal of trouble (including legal and criminal) if not practiced
safely and with both people in total agreement as to what is to be done
and not done. In fact, avoid it. The implications involved
in the more hardcore type of Sadomasochism may be disasterous.
Threesomes: Inviting a third
person, male or female, to take part in lovemaking necessitates that
either you or your partner be bi-sexual.
To some, this form of sex is acceptable. The greatest risk here is
that either partner might find themselves desiring the third person more
often without informing their mate. This practice is usually
considered to be unacceptable by those who adhere to manogomy. Again,
be sure that all parties are agreeable and that there is a risk of someone
being eventually left out in the cold. Relationships are difficult
enough for two people, let alone three to share together.
Sexual Aids: Adult erotic toys are
definitely a matter of preference. They come in all different forms.
Toys can be obtained either through Internet resources or from a local
adult novelty shop. In recent years, a new kind of adult store has
begun to replace the slinky men-only haunts of the past. Due to the
video revolution, peep shows that once drew all kinds of men to strips
of adult book stores have closed and are being replaced with a smarter
kind of store that features risque lingerie, sex toys, and other related
intimate products, etc. Due to this change, women are now venturing
in to these businesses to take advantage of the various products that are
offered for sale. In fact, couples are now enjoying visiting such
shops together to pick out items that they would both enjoy together.