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It's
a Matter of the Heart...
One would like to think that we live in a world where
matters of the heart are highly respected. To think that there
are those who would actually toy with another person's affections should
be considered a capital crime. However, the truth of the matter
is that there are those who are so |
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confused when it comes to any kind of balanced view regarding primary relationships
that they find it impossible to do anything other than hurt every life
they touch.
Even though it is true that a one night stand can
be somewhat justified as long as it is understood as such by those involved.
Yet, that is not always the case. The sad truth is that there are
those, men and women alike, who care little for the feelings of others
and regard taking someone to bed as simply one more conquest; one more
notch on their sexual belts; one more reason to brag to their friends to
feed their own self-centered ego.
Such men are labeled by our culture as being "jerks."
Conversely, the women are even more seriously marked as "whores" and "tramps."
Yet,
the truth of the matter is that jerks and whores/tramps abound despite
the accepted moral codes and ethics of our society.
Now, if you qualify as one of the above, you'll be absolutely
offended by the rest of this article. Actually, I think that to be
a good thing. You need to be offended so please read on.
On the other hand, if you are one of those many
unsuspecting individuals who gave of yourself in the most intimate
way to another, believing that it was the beginning of what would be a
beautiful relationship, only to find that he/she didn't even bother to
call the next day (or anytime afterwards), then you will be happy to
find that there are many others who are just as disgusted with these people.
The excuses for such behaviour are legion.
"We live in a new age when such things are acceptable."
"Sexual freedom is all around us."
"Everyone is doing it."
"Women are liberated now so they can do what they
want."
"Men have been doing it forever, so what the heck."
And so on and so on and so on.
However, the proof is still in the pudding.
If everyone is doing something that has truly become acceptable as a type
of sexual behavior, then why is there so much distrust, disatisfaction,
disappointment, and divorce? |
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Distrust...
Ask any woman what the most important characteristic of
any man she might be attracted to should possess. The answer is
almost always the same--trust. How many times do women
(or men) find themselves being used by others for whom they had feelings
before they begin to lose trust? With the proliferation of sexually
transmitted diseases, the trust issue has become a thousand times more
important. Everyone who is dying of AIDS trusted someone else too
much. Then again, everyone who trusted a promiscuous man or woman
has experienced the accompanying pain that comes when it is discovered
that trust has been seriously misplaced. Finding out that your lover
is a bed hopping fool simply results in compounding even more distrust.
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Disatisfaction...
One of the consequences of experiencing endless one night
stands is that of a very strong skeptical attitude taking the place of
any recognition of beauty, love, feelings, or a special kind of magic taking
place between two people. Going from one bed to another without any
regard for the normal sense of relationship with the other person is nothing
more than sex. Dogs do it. Cows do it. Horses do it.
Now, you can do it, too. The only thing that distinguuishes us
from the animals is that we have the capacity to love
the one with whom we make love. Anything else eventually becomes
very disatisfying. |
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Disappointment...
It would be nice to think that two consenting adults fully
understand the ramifications of a lone intimate
interlude
just for the sake of enjoying sex together. To be sure, it happens.
However, more times than not, there are further expectations on the part
of least one of the parties whenever two people experience lovemaking
together. Therefore, it is no wonder that an individual who is the
victim of promiscuous bad boys and loose women becomes rather jaded concerning
such things as love, romance, and physical
intimacy.
After awhile, sex becomes either very boring or it results
in experimenting with the more extreme forms where few survive emotionally.
What
should be a beautiful thing between people who truly care about each other
becomes a discarded toy.
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Divorce...
With over half of our nation's marriages being disolved
every year, no one can dispute that something is wrong in the way we as
a society approach primary relationships. Although, the reasons given
for the dissolution of a marriage are many, the need by at least one of
the parties for more passion can be justifiable. Life is too short
to be in a passionless relationship with someone who has either let themself
go or has little regard for physical intimacy. However, there are
also those who use this as an excuse to be promiscuous. The result
of a constant pattern of cheating goes past
the divorce itself. The consequences
of this kind of behavior are the loss of respect, trust, and love of others
as well as losing your own self-respect.
- Those who
have been victimized by heart killers fully understand the pain that they
inflict. Many have experienced much hurt and grief as a result
of their irresponsible actions.
Recovering from the damage they do can take a long
time.
They are heart killers and in the realm of matters of
the heart, such people should be made to live alone in solitude for the
rest of their lives because of the misery they cause others. |
© all rights reserved - 10/22/2001--
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The mission of this not-for-profit website is to promote clear insights
and toleration regarding the many variations of primary relationships that
exist in our world. We ask for neither acceptance or approval but
hope that each visitor who reviews the pages of this site will leave them
with a better understanding of the numerous cultural, historical, preferential,
religious, sexual, and sociological approaches to coupling that have always
existed and will continue to exist as long as there are at least two human
beings living on this planet. If the effort put into creating and
maintaining this site results in others coming to the realization that
the basic human need to love and be loved takes on many forms which are
accepted by those who practice them, whether right or wrong as determined
by the personal belief system of others, then it will have served it's
purpose well. |
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