|My First Internet
It started with a chance encounter in an Internet chatroom.
She first read a short "profile" that was provided by clicking my nickname
(Gentl2U) before requesting a "private." In it, I had stated that
would be nice to enjoy some intelligent conversations with an lady."
A window popped up on my monitor screen. The message
read, "Do you really expect to find intelligence here?"
The online chat that followed became the beginning of
a very sweet relationship that brought two very lonely people together
and saw them through the worst and best times of our lives. Even
though it would not result in a permanant
relationship, it did turn out to be very sweet and mutually fulfilling
for both of us.
It was only after we decided to go our separate ways that
I found out how lucky we had been to find each other so quickly through
the Internet. We remain good freinds to this day.
The Singles Search
Assuming that I would find someone just as easily again,
I joined a couple of singles
search sites, posted my profile, and began sending introductory e-mails
to those women who seemed compatible and were also close in proximity to
where I lived. Of course, being a visual male, those profiles featuring
attractive photographs were the first to get my attention.
It is amazing how many responses can result from a
nicely written note. In a few short weeks, over three dozen women
wrote back to let me know that they were interested. For a male,
that is a good number of replies. I have since learned that some
of the more attractive women recieve a dozen or more inquiries a day. Internet
connecting is quickly replacing traditional courtship.
The usual pattern when taking this approach includes an
exchange of as many e-mails as it takes for her to finally feel comfortable
in accepting an invitation to share a phone call. Following several
telephone conversations, a real time meeting may be planned. It is
absolutely necessary that this take place in a public
place and that there be no coercian or pressure be placed on either
person. It's not even a first date. It's a meeting.
However, the main difference between traditional dating
and meeting first on the net becomes very apparrent at this point.
It has to do with already having spent a good deal of time communicating
with each other previous to an actual meeting. In fact, by the time
a real meeting takes place there is a sense of already having become friends.
As a result, there can be an attraction to each other as all of the usual
obstacles involved in approaching someone have been resolved. I am
convinced that more and more people will take up this approach to meeting
Some of the replies I received were very sweet notes to
let me know that they were either seriously dating someone or did not think
that we would be compatible. However, most of the responses were
positive and provided an open door to pursue the possibility of a relationship.
|My Second Internet
The lady who I first dated using the singles
search approach proved to be a very sweet and wonderful experience.
We enjoyed many wonderful exchanges that included long and insightful e-mails
where we shared much of ourselves with each other. After several
phone conversations, we met and enjoyed dating for six months.. If
it was not for my own failure in dealing with some of the old baggage from
my previously failed marriage, I might
have been able to hold on to the growing love of this woman. However,
I came to realize that I had to deal with some important issues within
myself and she helped me to understand this. Losing her was a wake-up
call. She was a wonderful person and I only wish that I would have
understood some things better about myself before meeting her. I've
since been able to come to grips with the fact that women do not want to
be rushed into a serious relationship with a man. Still, it is too
late to go back and correct what went wrong between us. The point
here is that good people can be found using the Internet approach.
She was definitely one of them.
Response I've Ever Received...
However, I've also had a few very strange experiences
via the net. Take for example the woman who wrote, "Hi. I found
your profile to be interesting. Please send me a statement regarding
your annual income and your current financial situation. Thank you."
Can you believe that?
Although, most of the e-mail responses are very sincere
and well written, I have been amazed at some who want me to tell them absolutely
everything about myself while they offer next to nothing about themselves.
There are even those who will write one note after another just to tell
you how much they hate their ex. Still others love to tell one horror
story after another of all the terrible things that men have done to them.
It is obvious that they are still carrying old baggage and they're not
ready for a healthy, happy relationship.
My Most Risque'
Then, there was the gal whom I met at a local mall.
I took her to one of the nicer restaurants and we enjoyed lunch together.
Half way through the conversation, she began to let me know what she would
do for me if I were to take her to a motel. In fact, she was very
descriptive and used a lot of four letter words to indicate exactly what
we would be doing together should I agree. Not only did she verbally
tempt me but it was obvious from her exposed
cleavage that she had an amazing body underneath the tight and skimpy
clothing that she was wearing.
Now, most men may have taken her up on her offer.
However, I automatically began wondering how many other men she has been
with and which of the 116 different types of sexually transmitted diseases
she was ready to share with me along with her obvious charms.
I never saw her again.
Most Dates Have
Been Very Nice...
One of the women I met was fighting cancer. She
has since passed away. We seemed to click together and enjoyed each
other's company. I will always wonder what might have become of experiencing
a relationship with her. Now, I will never know.
Another gal met me at a local restaurant after three weeks
of daily e-mail exchanges and a few long phone conversations. We
went dancing afterwards. We both knew right away that nothing
would come of it. We were both too much like our previous mates.
It was a kind of coincidence but we laughed about it afterwards.
She is a sweet lady and I have since learned that she is in a serious relationship
with a good man. She's a terrific person and deserves to be happy.
I wish her the very best.
Is Internet Dating
As in traditional dating, the variables are pretty much
the same. The only thing that is different is the approach and the
ease at being able to find a large number of potential mates. It
is an amazing thing to be able to join a singles
search site and come upon profile after profile of people in your area
who are looking for someone just like you. Internet connecting is
safe, anonymous, less visually oriented, and gives people a chance to share
many views and ideas without investing large amounts of time, money, and
emotions. Two people can cover a lot of bases with each other to
test whether or not there is something beyond physical attraction for both
before they ever meet.
Many who use this method will eventually meet their
via the net. It is quickly replacing the traditional approach
as thousands of people each day choose to go this route.
It sure beats sitting in a lonely bar hoping that some
gorgeous female will walk in and invite you to have a drink with her.
That's a fantasy. Internet connecting is the reality.
© all rights reserved - 10/22/2001--
The mission of this not-for-profit website is to promote clear insights
and toleration regarding the many variations of primary relationships that
exist in our world. We ask for neither acceptance or approval but
hope that each visitor who reviews the pages of this site will leave them
with a better understanding of the numerous cultural, historical, preferential,
religious, sexual, and sociological approaches to coupling that have always
existed and will continue to exist as long as there are at least two human
beings living on this planet. If the effort put into creating and
maintaining this site results in others coming to the realization that
the basic human need to love and be loved takes on many forms which are
accepted by those who practice them, whether right or wrong as determined
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