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Internet Romance
Defined:
A primary relationship
between two people originating from having contacted each other initially
through the Internet; a romance conducted
using the Internet exclusively.
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Chatroom Romances...
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It began with the introduction of three Internet tools:
chat, e-mail, and singles
search sites.
The ability to enter a chatroom using a nickname alias
to talk with members of the opposite sex is overwhelmingly inviting to
most people. Although the first chatrooms were very basic and required
several clicks to add a line of text, they are now very quick, graphically
pleasing, and some allow you to import your own photo (pic) to represent
yourself each time you make a statement in the room.
Of course the chatroom feature that has resulted in a
literal boom of Internet romances is the instant message (IM) or private
chat (pvt). These tools allow chatters the freedom to engage other
willing individuals in a private conversation. When people sense
that they are "connecting" with someone, the excitement of being able to
explore a romantic possibility without
having to reveal one's true identity or too much private information becomes
very tempting.
Depending upon the two people involved, "cybering" (virtual
sex using word descriptions) can become part of the relationship.
Although, it is definitely non-traditional, one must admit that it would
definitely qualify as "safe. sex."
There are those who are content to enjoy an ongoing romance
with someone they will never actually meet. On the other hand, there
are others who experience a growing attraction to each other and eventually
consumate their love. This can either take the form of two single
people who literally find soulmates on the
net to a married woman getting on a plane and running off to Europe to
be with her virtual lover (it happens).
To those who would condemn the use of chatrooms to connect
with others for romantic reasons, we mut make the point that committed
people who use this means to find romance are definitely looking to fill
a need that is not being met in their offline relationships. In such
cases, the responsibility falls upon both parties; the chat user to back
off from using chatrooms and their mate who should take the time to analyze
what part they are playing in leaving their lover feeling unfulfilled enough
to seek this venue to fill interpersonal needs. Denying culpability
in regard to this could be very damaging to a committed relationship.
Finally, it must be said that, like all forms of human
communication, the allure that chat provides is the ability to interact
with another human being with the ability to do so anonomously. That
is, until one or the other feels comfortable and trusting enough to provide
any personal information. As a result, there are many who have abandoned
their televisions and other interests in favor of this new medium.
Each person must decide for themselves as to the degree
of time, energy, emotion, risk, and fulfillment that is derived from a
virtual romance or relationship.
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E-mail Romance...
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It is natural for those who connect with each other via
chat or singles
search sites to get to know more about each other using e-mail.
Some find no need to pursue the relationship any further, whereas, most
eventually decide to meet.
The most interesting facet of e-mail
romances is that it gives both parties an advantage that they do not
have in real time. Each one can really get to know the other; how
he/she thinks, views life, approaches relationships, etc., without the
fear of being rejected due to physical characteristics. This is especially
inviting to women due to the male tendency to judge them solely by their
looks. Of course, it can work both ways.
Furthermore, as virtual relationships
progress, the need to see what each other looks like becomes an important
factor. As a result, photos can be sent in the form of e-mail attachements
(assuming that they are authentic). Still, the sender maintains control
in deciding which "pics" to send.
The net effect of taking time to
get to know someone using e-mail is that an actual first
meeting between virtual lovers takes on a completely different tone
than when strangers meet for the first time. Even though such a meeting
would be the first time they have actually made either visual or physical
contact with each other, there is a definite understanding between the
two that they are at least friends, if not already emotionally involved
with each other. Still, like any other kind of interaction between
two people, this could be very misleading or the best thing that could
possibly ever have happened to either of them.
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Singles Search
Sites...
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How would you like to have the ability to read profiles
and see actual photos of people living within fifty miles of your home
who are looking for someone just like you? Believe it or not, the
Internet has made this a simple process. All one has to do is know
where to go to get started.
Those who place their ads on this type of site have relationship
needs that span everything from searching for a permanent mate to simply
finding a pen pal.
Actually, the cost of joining and maintaining a membership
in a singles
search site is quite nominal. Most of these sites allow you to
pay by the month or receive a discount if you pay for three to six months
at a time. Those who meet others via this method feel that the investment
is nothing compared to the return in new friends and perhaps even a serious
or exclusive relationship. |
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An Internet Romance
Story....
It was a harmless chatroom for those who wanted to discuss
the leading news storeis of the day. You know, a bunch of intellectual
Yuppie
types who enjoy arguing with each other about anything that is news-worthy.
At any rate, me and this female nickname were both in
agreement on an issue and were slaughtering those who disagreed with us.
It was so much fun that, when it was over, she actually requested a private
chat with me.
That resulted in an exchange of e-mail addresses.
We wrote to each other a few times over the next week
and then it soon became once every day. When we found out that we
lived within an hours drive of each other, it became obvious to both of
us that a meeting would have to take place.
Three months after our meeting in the chatroom, we sat
across from each other in a mall restaurant and had the most wonderful
time actually being with each other. It had a magical quality to
it that is hard to describe.
We've been seeing each other for over a year now and it
is becoming more and more seirous.
By the way, would you like to hear the most ironic part
of the whole thing?
She's a Democrat and I'm a Republican.
~ Jay, New Jersey
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-© all
rights reserved - 10/22/2001----
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The mission of this not-for-profit website is to promote clear insights
and toleration regarding the many variations of primary relationships that
exist in our world. We ask for neither acceptance or approval but
hope that each visitor who reviews the pages of this site will leave them
with a better understanding of the numerous cultural, historical, preferential,
religious, sexual, and sociological approaches to coupling that have always
existed and will continue to exist as long as there are at least two human
beings living on this planet. If the effort put into creating and
maintaining this site results in others coming to the realization that
the basic human need to love and be loved takes on many forms which are
accepted by those who practice them, whether right or wrong as determined
by the personal belief system of others, then it will have served it's
purpose well. |
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