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As a single guy who truly
appreciates the convenience and ease of using Internet
matchmaking services to meet women, I have read hundreds of member
profiles. I've also met enough women using that medium to now be
able to provide a fairly good translation of what they are really expecting
when they describe themselves, their preferences, and the kind of guy for
whom they are looking.
My translations may tend toward some tounge-in-cheek but
please know that they are pretty close to the mark. I've also included
a section for the ladies to help them interprest what the men are really
saying, too.
So, as you review each term and consider the definitions
of each, perhaps you'll view those profiles somewhat differently from now
on. The point is that most people are genuine and sincere.
They may be given to some flights of fantasy when composing their profiles
so should be given the benefit of the doubt. However, should you
date
very many of those that you first contacted via the net, I think that you'll
be better prepared to not be so disappointed when you meet some of those
who use the following catch-all phrases in their profiles..... |
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Woman Seeking
A Man.....
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Her Profile Says
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What She Really Means
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I love to travel
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I've never really been outside my home state but expect
you to have a large bank account so that you can take me to Paris, Rome,
and the many exotic places that I have dreamed about all of my life. |
I'm a hopeless
romantic
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I don't know the first thing about "being" romantic but
I sure love to "be" romanced and expect you to work very hard at it. |
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I love to laugh
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I'm basically humorless so you will need to wear a clown
nose at all times to keep me laughing and, should you ever upset me, there
will be hell to pay. |
My friends tell
me that I am
attractive
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I know that I am hot so you had better take me out to
the best places and buy me lots of expensive gifts because I know that
it's my body you really want. |
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I love animals
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Therefore, I expect you to know the names of my three
dogs, seven cats, seventeen fish, and pet snake. Oh, did I mention
the terantula? |
I stay healthy
by eating right
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You will have to get use to low fat tv dinners because I neither
cook regular food nor would I even know where to get started if I tried. |
I am very
passionate
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Which has nothing to do with how I perform in the bedroom
and everything to do with the fact that I have never lost an argument because
I will overwhelm you with my emotional outbursts. |
I enjoy
affection
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Especially when it last for hours in the bedroom but don't
expect that to happen until much later on and only after you've passed
all of my tests. |
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I am independent
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So what I really need is a playmate who validates my womanhood,
pays for all the dates, and makes me feel beautiful, desired, and very
spoiled. |
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I just want a friendship
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So what I really need is a playmate who validates my womanhood,
pays for all the dates and makes me feel beautiful, desired, and very spoiled.
Wait a minute? Isn't this the same as the preceding one? |
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Man Seeking A
Woman.....
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His Profile Says
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What He Really Means
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I am athletic
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You will have to get use to not seeing me on the the weekends
because that is when I head down to the local sports bar, eat lots of chicken
wings, drink liters of beer, and watch every sport known to man on their
large screen televisions with my buddies from the old neighborhood. |
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I am sensitive
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...especially to my own needs and you damn better be able to fulfill
them |
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I am a philosopher
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Duh!
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I'm your knight
in shining armor
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It's severely tarnished, battered, and life has left me
feeling very vulnerable but, considering the length of this lance, I am
more than capeable of taking you for a ride on my royal steed. |
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I love traveling
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Actually, I'd rather stay at home and watch the travel
channel but, after all, traveling is what you said you like to do in your
profile so I am simply including it in mine to get your attention. |
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I am adventurous
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...especially when it comes to finding out what you have hidden underneath
all of those pesky clothes. |
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I am easy going
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However, just don't mess with me or I will bite your head
off and feed it to my gerbels. |
| I am a hard worker |
...and as soon as I get a job again, I will prove it to you. |
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I am open minded
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So, can we have sex now? Also, does your sister
want to join us? |
I just want
friendship
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So, can we have sex now? Also, do your friends want
to join us? |
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Well, there you have it.
Although, meant to elicit a smile, there is indeed a ring
of truth to all of the above.
Furthermore, I would be remiss in not pointing out
some of the other things to watch out for like the guy whose profile is
filled with nothing but sexual overtones or the woman who says little,
if anything, about herself but includes a massive description of the man
of her dreams.
At any rate, this new medium for finding possible mates
is indeed a vast improvement over the traditional approach. However,
like any method that people have ever employed to meet others with the
hope of romantic implications, the need to remain cautious while working
through the dating process remains much the same.
Good luck and may you soon find your special someone. |
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© all rights reserved - 3/29/2003
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The mission of this not-for-profit website is to promote clear insights
and toleration regarding the many variations of primary relationships that
exist in our world. We ask for neither acceptance or approval but
hope that each visitor who reviews the pages of this site will leave them
with a better understanding of the numerous cultural, historical, preferential,
religious, sexual, and sociological approaches to coupling that have always
existed and will continue to exist as long as there are at least two human
beings living on this planet. If the effort put into creating and
maintaining this site results in others coming to the realization that
the basic human need to love and be loved takes on many forms which are
accepted by those who practice them, whether right or wrong as determined
by the personal belief system of others, then it will have served it's
purpose well. |
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