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Men and Women Are Not The Same
in Every Way--Thank God!
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   The unisex movement of the 70s proved to be a failed experiment.  Men and women bought their clothing from the same racks and used the same public restrooms.  It never caught on.  Men were encouraged to get in touch with their "feminine selves," while women burned their bras in protest of being discriminated against as females.  As a result, men continue to be more in touch with their masculine selves and lingerie is more in fashion than ever before?
   What went wrong?  Answer: Nothing!
   The point is that males and females are very different from each other (physical differences aside).  In fact, it is the differing characteristics of each sex that makes the experience of coupling so wonderful.  Whether the relationship be between heterosexuals or those who choose alternative lifestyles, the things that make us male or female are the stuff of life that causes it all to be so interesting (albeit it frustrating and confusing at times) and enjoyable.
   The official end of the unisex fiasco came with the release of Dr. John Gray's Book, "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus." (See to the right)  The theme of this popular book is the differences between the sexes.  All throughout the book, Gray points out the undeniable truth that it is the acceptance of those differences that results in the best of relationships.
   Furthermore, he goes on to show how that understanding those differences brings understanding, harmony, and happiness.  His insights are sound and his advice is extremely helpful.
   Since the publication of the first book, he has written several more in the series.  His work has brought the better part of an entire generation back to the place where we are reveling in our sexuality and more clearly understanding why the opposite sex responds, reacts, and behaves as it does.
   It's not the similarities that attract us to each other--it's the differences.....
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Men Are Single Task Focused
Women Are Global Thinkers....
   How is it that a woman can prepare dinner, change a diaper, do the laundry, talk on the phone, brush her hair, and talk out of the side of her mouth to remind her husband to take out the garbage--and all at the same time?  On the other hand, men take each task one at a time without giving much thought to anything else at the moment. 
   The fact is that women think globally.  They have the amazing capacity to multi-task.  Not only that, but they do it amazingly well.  The dinner was good, the diaper got changed, the clothes are clean, the phone conversation went well, every hair on her head is in place, and he did take out the garbage as instructed.  Not only that, but she managed to wipe little Tommy's nose for him at the same time as
well. 
   This writer once asked a past girlfriend why she enjoyed working on her computer so much.  Her response was, "Because I can multi-task."  So, there you go. 
   Conversely, men think in logical steps: 1-2-3 or A-B-C.  When confronted with any situation, no matter how big or small, they have the innate ability to quickly determine exactly how much time will be needed to deal with it.  Should they be able to attend to it, they will focus in on the task at hand and work it through until it is completed to their satisfaction.  Using the same scenario as above, a man will first cook a nice meal (at least those who enjoy the kitchen), then change the diaper (doing so in the middle of cooking the meal would be considered a serious interuption), then go throw a few clothes in the laundry (after they finished eating the meal they prepared), then comb his hair, followed by taking out the garbage.  If someone were to call during any of this, he would at least be tempted to say, "Tell Jack I'll call him back later."  Men are single task focused.
   The explanation for this is simply that women are, first and foremost, the nurturing partner in any primary relationship.  They are the heart and soul of the family.  Their design is such that they can more than handle the many things that go on at any one moment in daily family life. 
  The mistake that some men make is that they interpret a woman's natural inclination to think globally as being "scatter brained."  This could not be further from the truth.  Consider, for example, the modern trend toward more women in the workforce.  This has resulted in once male dominated jobs being completely taken over by women.  Their ability to multi-task has translated all too well into many different career paths.  Whereas, once they made great nurses and secretaries, they are now becoming our doctors and corporate CEOs.
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   However, men still manage to hold their own.  Their ability to focus in on a single task and logically think through every ramification, detail, option, and course of action comes natural to them.  This is not to say that women do not do this.  It's just that men do it so naturally and don't seem to be able to think in any other way.  Hence, they manage to do quite well in getting any job done even though their approach is so different from their female counterparts. 
   Not only that, but it can be said that almost all men are motivated by sex to do everything and anything.  This single-purpose is at the root of all that they do.  Some will deny it, but most agree.  Take away a man's fame, his wealth, and even his health, but, for heaven's sake, don't deny him his manhood!
   Furthermore, lest any woman look down upon the male of the species for the above mentioned reason, consider the fact that the species has done quite well due to man's natural instinct to be sexually driven.  Yes, men start wars and walk all over each other to get to the top of the corporate ladder.  Sex is woven throughout the fabric of even those things.  However, they are also capable of great tenderness, caring, sharing, and are sure to be thinking of little else when engaged in physical passion (another benefit of being single task focused). 
   Of course, she should not be faulted as well if, while he is proving his manhood to her between the sheets, she is thinking about her grocery list and reminding herself to pick the children up from school early tomorrow.
© all rights reserved - 10/22/2001
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Determining Differences Continued
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   The mission of this not-for-profit website is to promote clear insights and toleration regarding the many variations of primary relationships that exist in our world.  We ask for neither acceptance or approval but hope that each visitor who reviews the pages of this site will leave them with a better understanding of the numerous cultural, historical, preferential, religious, sexual, and sociological approaches to coupling that have always existed and will continue to exist as long as there are at least two human beings living on this planet.  If the effort put into creating and maintaining this site results in others coming to the realization that the basic human need to love and be loved takes on many forms which are accepted by those who practice them, whether right or wrong as determined by the personal belief system of others, then it will have served it's purpose well.
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