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Determining Differences
Continued.....
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Men Love to be
Needed
Women Love to
be Cherished
Quote Vincents's Principle to a woman ("Romance is all
the little kisses in between") and she will immediately recognize you as
a potential lover. Why? Because women love to be cherished;
to be assured that their special someone cares about them in all of the
little day-to-day ways, as well as those moments shared together in physical
intimacy.
Compliment her on her new hair style, kiss her on the
back of the neck as you pass by, share the making of a meal together, pour
her a glass of wine when she gets home from work, draw a bath for her when
she is stressed, hold her hand while you are walking together through
the mall, write her a love note or a poem
now and then, and find ways to tell her you love her in all of the
little ways and she will be there when you want her for those special moments
together.
Conversely, ignoring her, going silent for days, doing
little aggravating things to her, fondling your tv remote control too much,
playing with all of your electronic gadgets, and spending weekends rooting
for your favorite sports team (with all of your buddies enjoying your beer
and brats) will not produce a trail of lingerie
leading to the bedroom as soon as you find time to squeeze in some squeezing.
Woman's greatest need is to be cherished.
Man's
greatest need is to be needed.
That's why the toolbox belongs to
him. Whether it's fixing some broken plumbing or responding to your
request for a hug, guys are doers and doing for you makes them feel good.
Do you need someone to check the oil in your car? How about some
help with the clasp on your necklace? Are you a little stressed and
could use a good back rub? He's your man for the job. Would
you like some physical intimacy?
Need him in all things and you will have one happy guy as your partner.
However, it would be unwise to assume
that this gives you a wonderful tool to manipulate him into doing whatever
you want. Oh, it will work for awhile if you indeed decide to go
that route. Men are not always the quickest to discern when they
are being victimized by a self-serving female. Although, eventually
they figure it out. When they do, they have a way of quickly moving
on and taking little time in finding someone who will not take advantage
of their need to feel needed.
Those who truly love their men will
seek to find ways to make him feel wanted. From fixing the broken
leg on the sofa to holding you when you feel like crying and don't know
why, be sure to remind him always that you need him.
Women need to be cherished.
Men need to be needed. |
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Men are Visual
- Women are Relational...
A male's eyes are directly connected to his heart, whereas,
a female's brain has a way of intercepting visual attraction before it
reaches her heart. In other words, it had to have been a man who
first coined the phrase, "love at first sight." A woman may use this
phrase in a romantic context but there are very few women who ever really
fall in love with a man based on his physical appearance--not true love,
anyhow.
Women are more curous about the man inside. They
are willing to take the time to see what is behind the cover. They
are not as taken by good looks as are men.
Take a stroll through any big city mall. You will
notice time and again how that many couples seem mismatched. That
is, if you go by appearances only. The simple truth is that many
of the pretty women you see holding hands with those very average looking
guys have fallen in love with "who" he is rather than "what" he looks like.
They much more prefer a good guy who will provide them with the security
of a consistent, loving relationship as opposed to a good looking bad
boy who has little to offer in this regard.
Women are relational. Even though they would love
to think that a very good looking man will someday come along and sweep
them off of their feet, they will invariably settle for a lesser looking
guy if he is indeed a genuine and caring person. Of course, it takes
time for them to truly get to know a man. This explains why they
do not fall in love as quickly or as easily as men. They reserve
their judgement until after they become confident that the person behind
the face (whether handsome or not-so-handsome) is attractive to them on
the inside. |
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By contrast, a guy will immediately become enchanted with
a woman who is pretty, feminine, sexy, slender, and has a chest on her
that compares to no other. This explains the motivation behind most
women's decision to get breast implants. Few really do it purely
for themselves. They know that men are more visual. In fact,
truth be told, business women who interface with people will sometimes
admit that it is "button up" when meeting with another woman but "buttons
down" when meeting with a man. Why wear a power tie when a little
cleavage gives a girl the advantage? Do men resent such female tricks?
What do you think?
The downside of this inequity between the sexes is that
women are immediately placed at a disadvantage. Since men are designed
to determine a woman's intellect, character, and whole being simply by
her looks, they will quickly pass by a female who does not measure up to
their mental list of necessary physical traits. If this were not
the case, the cosmetics industry would go bankrupt over night and hair
salons would cease to exist. That brings us back to breast implants.
Need we press the point any further?
No wonder the Biblical Jesus focuses in on the guys when
he states, "If a man looks upon a woman to lust after her...." He
directs the issue of lust first of all to men. Why? Because
men are not only visual, but they are great at "visualizing." Ask
a woman how many sexual fantasies she has. Most will tell you that
their favorite fantasy involves three people. Men have a similiar
fantasy. However, women can't describe a second or third fantasy
as readily. On the other hand, most men will give you a list of their
erotic daydreams--in detail, including who is involved, the surroundings,
and even the background music. Men are visual.
© all rights reserved - 10/22/2001
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The mission of this not-for-profit website is to promote clear insights
and toleration regarding the many variations of primary relationships that
exist in our world. We ask for neither acceptance or approval but
hope that each visitor who reviews the pages of this site will leave them
with a better understanding of the numerous cultural, historical, preferential,
religious, sexual, and sociological approaches to coupling that have always
existed and will continue to exist as long as there are at least two human
beings living on this planet. If the effort put into creating and
maintaining this site results in others coming to the realization that
the basic human need to love and be loved takes on many forms which are
accepted by those who practice them, whether right or wrong as determined
by the personal belief system of others, then it will have served it's
purpose well. |
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