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More Determining
Differences....
The upside of this difference between the sexes is two-fold.
First of all, men can relax a little more with the assurance
that most women are not going to judge them because they don't look exactly
like Fabio. Relax, guys. Be yourself. She will either
love you for it or not at all. As long as you are for real, you have
a better chance of "looking" attractive to her.
Secondly, women can revel in their femininity by taking
advantage of all the many "girl-things" from getting their hair done to
trying out the latest fashion styles. They have much more freedom
to employ whatever means necessary to overcome a perceived physical deficiency.
In fact, most men are amazed when they pick up a graphically illustrated
makeup book (should they exercise the courage to do so) and find out how
amazing a woman can be transformed with the poper use of a little makeup.
Heck, they deserve it since they insist on being so visual. Right?
Never doubt it for a moment. Women want to know
the person behind the eyes--men want to know the person in front of their
eyes.
It might not be right or reasonable, but it is the way
we are.
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Men are Motivated
By Sex
Women are Motivated
by Relationships...
When it comes to primary relationships,
men are measureably much more basic in that which motivates them to couple.
Plainly stated, men think about sex
constantly--even when they refuse to admit it. A scientific report
estimated that men think about it at least 360 times a day (once every
four minutes). However, as anyone knows, that could not be possible.
Perhaps 180 times but certainly no more. Yes, I am being facisious
here but it does make the point.
This is not to say that women don't think about sex at
all. They just don't think about it as much. In fact, generally
speaking, there is absolutely no comparison between the two sexes in this
regard.
The root cause of man's overwhelming need for sex can
be easily explained. It is simply a factor in the grand design that
has made our species so successful. Men are driven to couple.
As a result, women become pregnant, children are conceived and born, and
the human race now holds domination over the Earth. It works.
Conversely, as much as most women enjoy sex, they are
not usually the initiators. Since they are primarily relational in
their approach to love, sex (from their point of view) cannot
truly be enjoyed unless the relationship is right.
This explains why it is that most men can have a major
argument with their mates and then jump into the sack the same night to
attempt lovemaking. Women, however, will resist intimacy
due to some off-the-wall remark he made three days ago. The female
of the species is not motivated purely by sex. If they don't feel
loved and cherished, then it just isn't going to happen. If it is
put upon them to take part in lovemaking, then one has no problem with
understanding why they would prefer a television installed in the ceiling
above the bed.
This writer has been quoted by others when I originally
wrote the little statement that , "Romance is all the little kisses in
between."
The intent of that idea is still he same. Wise men
would do well to fully comprehend how it is that their lovers are motivated
when it comes to sexual intimacy.
If a man's lover happens to be another
man, no wonder the frequency of sex is not so much of an issue.
However, if your lover is a woman, then the understanding that they are
driven more by the quality of the relationship than a man's mastery in
the bedroom will go a long way in keeping a relationship strong and sexually
fulfilling for both. |
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In Conclusion...
Space does not allow us to continue in analyzing the differences
between the sexes. Actually, this same discussion is one that continues
to result in more books continually being published on the subject and
could easily fill up dozens of web sites.
The point is that primary relationships are amazingly
complex when viewed from every angle. Who knows what draws certain
people to each other. Why people cross over perceived boundries of
social acceptance to couple regardless of whaat society in general thinks
is a fact of life. That there are those who are willing to make amazing
sacrifices in the name of love may be beyond the scope of most human experience
and understanding, but it certainly does happen. Say "Shakespeare"
and most people immediately think of Romeo and Juliet. Go
figure.
Still, there is a bottom line. It is simply this.....
| Those in primary relationships are simply
two opposite halves of the same circle. Once the two halves connect, |
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no matter what the nature is of their own separate halves, something wonderful,
mystical, and magical takes place.
We call it love.
Of course, I would be remiss if I were not to point out
that we each have a responsibility to present a whole person to those we
come to love. To be whole as an individual is not necessarily being
complete in regards to experiencing a loving primary relationship.
No matter what the differences may be, we are not complete
within ourselves because each of us are only half of a circle. Once
coupled, it is the differences that the other person brings to the relationship
which results in fulfillment--completion.
Ying and Yang.
Me and You.
Together.
Complete.
Loved.
© all rights reserved - 10/22/2001
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The mission of this not-for-profit website is to promote clear insights
and toleration regarding the many variations of primary relationships that
exist in our world. We ask for neither acceptance or approval but
hope that each visitor who reviews the pages of this site will leave them
with a better understanding of the numerous cultural, historical, preferential,
religious, sexual, and sociological approaches to coupling that have always
existed and will continue to exist as long as there are at least two human
beings living on this planet. If the effort put into creating and
maintaining this site results in others coming to the realization that
the basic human need to love and be loved takes on many forms which are
accepted by those who practice them, whether right or wrong as determined
by the personal belief system of others, then it will have served it's
purpose well. |
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