| One of the comments that came out
of one of several discussions I had with a lady professor who heads up
the Women's Studies Department of one of our state colleges had to do with
the many times she has heard some of her female students proclaim to each
other, "I'm hot and any guy who wants me is going to have to work for it"
or some such similar idiotic statement. Interestingly enough, the
professor I am referring to is one of the ladies I have dated since my
divorce and I consider her to be an exceptionally beautiful woman herself.
Furthermore, she has also been blessed with intelligence and a wonderful
personality. In fact, I've counted some 164 references to her
accomplishments on the Internet. Yet, she remains very realistic
about matters of the heart and does so to her own credit. Any man
whose love she earns will be blessed with a truly "hot" lady who has too
much integrity to use her natural attributes to manipulate others.
So, her dismay at the attitude of those younger women to whom she was referring
is both understandable and all the more intriguing.
| No one will disagree that any woman
who qualifies as being genuinely attractive or perhaps even gorgeous should
expect the attentions of we males who definitely tend to be plagued by
our need to be visually attracted to a female. However, those who
indeed fit that description while fully expecting us to jump through hoops,
spend mega-bucks on them, and get little (if anything) in return, are really
not too far from using the same approach as any woman who prostitutes herself
for favors. They neither understand the concept of love nor are they
worth the blood, sweat, and tears necessary to gain their favor.
After all, what man is willing to entertain a long-term relationship with
a self-centered woman who wears a captial "B" on her forehead?
First of all, any female who is
indeed blessed with physical attractiveness should realize that she really
didn't accomplish it herself. Just because the genes that produced
her (thanks to her parents having conceived her) luckily came together
in just the right mix to provide her with outer beauty does not give her
the right to use it to manipulate men into giving her whatever she wants.
Good looking women may have to primp and pamper themselves to accentuate
what has already been naturally given to them, but no perfectly applied
makeup, gorgeous hair-do, or set of curves to be found in all the right
places can ever take the place of inner beauty. Being gorgeous on
the outside is the result of chance. Being beautiful on the inside
is the result of work, effort, and developing some character and integrity.
Good men know this and, once they have gotten past their initial tendency
to be attracted to a woman visually, finding out that she is a self-centered
and arrogant witch usually results in their dumping her big time.
| Secondly, sad to say, beautiful
women can be very manipulative when it comes to using their looks to make
sincere suitors grovel at their feet. While less attractive women
are more willing to be demonstrative in their show of affections for a
good man, some women who possess physical beauty feel it necessary to force
a man into proving again and again that they are willing to go to hell
and back for them. Consequently, they are also very good at making
life a living hell for them so the trip to that particular destination
is more than possible. Conversely, some have no qualms about giving
themselves over to much older and financially successful males just to
provide them with material security. Again, no one would disagree
that this is nothing more than a shallow form of
Finally, one has to admit that such
women, regardless of their IQs or seeming intelligence, are totally empty
headed when it comes to any real insights into the workings of the human
heart. These same women enjoy long conversations with each other
concerning their mutually low opinions of men, never realizing that the
kind of males they finally trap are just as shallow as themselves, therefore,
how could they possibly have an accurate perception of what constitutes
a truly good man?
| If truth is true at all, then all
I can say to any man who sacrifices true love with a woman who would be
more than capable of returning it in favor of grovelling for some self-centered
Barbie doll isn't worth a penny of the big bank account he used as bait
to snare such a cold heart in the first place. Therefore, the low
road that some take regarding relationships that can best be described
as barely qualifying as the "surface" variety is both a female problem
as well as a male issue. As in prostitution, women would not be able
to market themselves if men refused to be taken in by their natural charms.
However, the undeniable reality of this particular issue is that, as long
as there are shallow men, there will always be women who are equally as
empty headed regarding what truly constitutes a genuinely loving relationships
between two people.
I've personally enjoyed dating a
number of truly nice women who were blessed with natural beauty.
Some were more visually pleasing than others. Several were exceptionally
beautiful by anyone's definition of the word. Of those, I found myself
in awe of those who possessed both feminine beauty and truly good hearts
that were filled with human warmth, strong character, and a desire to share
their lives in a meaningful way with the man who becomes the love of their
lives. However, I've experienced a few of those who knew they were
hot and obviously milked men for everything that they were worth without
any sense of decency or concern for the feelings of those who sought their
My observation has been that such
women rarely ever attract a truly good man.
Most will successfully use their
natural beauty to build a safe wall of financial security around them but
never know what real love is all about. Cold hearts usually accompany
empty minds and unhappy souls.
Yet, there are those women
who, regardless of either their outer or inner beauty, refuse to manipulate
anyone for personal gain. Instead, they seek true love and will probably
A "hot" looking woman with
a cold heart will never be more attractive than a warm hearted woman with
a beautiful soul.
© all rights reserved - 1/1/2002
The mission of this not-for-profit website is to promote clear insights
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with a better understanding of the numerous cultural, historical, preferential,
religious, sexual, and sociological approaches to coupling that have always
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the basic human need to love and be loved takes on many forms which are
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