It's an exclusive club that only allows one kind of person.
Being a player in the context of loving primary relationships
is the only qualification needed to join this club. All you really
have to do is have a huge misconception about what such relationships are
really about. If going from one conquest to another is your cup of
tea, then welcome to the Players Club.
Membership in the Club...
Predators eat their prey alive.
It's just as true amongst homosapians as it is of any
other carnivorous species. However, those who are human take a different
tact in that they feed on the emotions of others. It's a form of
relational murder. Yet, they get away with it time and time again
because unsuspecting and sincere victims are easy prey.
However, predators cannot be described as canibals.
Since they don't eat their own kind, that parallel would be inappropriate.
No, they eat up people who are truly looking for love and a committed
relationship--people who are not like them at all.
of the Club...
Recently, while attending one of the regular weekly dances at
a local establishment, a middle-aged single responded to my hello with
a not so pleasant announcement. It seems that he was miffed by my
being there. In fact, he made it clear that he did not enjoy social
functions where I was in attendance. I was surprised by his comment
but not shocked. You see, he has a solid reputation in our circle
of being an absolutely commited member of the Players Club. As a
result, he sees all other men as competitors. Like a bull moose protecting
his stomping grounds, he butts horns with any young buck who wanders into
what he considers to be his territory. Furthermore, he remains clueless
to the fact that every female who knows him would rather that he keep his
distance from them.
This same fellow continually demonstrates a kind of boldness
that amazes even other players. Like a number of other men, I have
experienced excusing myself from my date to use the restroom only to return
with him sitting in my seat trying to engage her in a conversation.
Once more, I have had to let him know that he is indeed in my seat and
that I want it back. To top it off, he looks miffed at me for asking
him to move while he is making his way back to his lonely little corner
of the room. The word "vulture" comes to mind. His prey might
not be dead but, given time with him, it would be soon.
With players, it's all about conquest.
Males who move from one woman to the next as easily as
changing planes, the excitement of flying high with yet one more conquered
female validates them as males. However, when these same women begin
to distance themselves, they quickly pounce on them as being unworthy mates
and emotionally strangle them to death to prove their point.
While other men go on to enjoy loving fulfilling
relationships, male members of the Players Club end up as old men drinking
beer on their porches on hot summer nights with no one to love or love
them back. That's the reward for being a loyal lifetime member of
of the Club...
Regardless of the protestations of women, men are not the only relational
predators. Females are just as culpible. However, they are
more coy and, due to the fact that they are the more attractive sex, can
be just as ruthless as males. While a man will be more obvious and
somewhat crude in his approach to the whole thing, a woman will manipulate
a man into chasing her until she catches him. In it's purer form,
that is okay. Still, if the woman is predatory, it is absolutely
Again, membership in the Players Club is not predicated
upon gender. All you have to do to maintain your standing in the
club is to remain clueless as to what constitutes a truly loving
Vanity plays an important part in the minds of female
Players Club members. The need here is to know that men find a woman
to be attractive, alluring, and desireable. However, should a male
love partner tire of complimenting her beauty and giving into her demands,
he will be considered as an ex-boyfriend very soon. She will soon
be off on excursions with her new lover and so on and so on.
Then there is the vamp. This is the female who finds
a sense of satisfaction in obtaining another woman's lover. She uses
and it usually works. In this case, both the men who fall prey
to them as well as the women who lose those men are victimized. Of
course, there is something to be said about a man who would drop a good
woman for a predatory female. However, the point is well taken.
Vamps drain the lifeblood out of others and do it only because it gives
them validation. Sharing a genuine loving relationship with anyone
makes them too vulnerable. Using others to help them avoid dealing
with their own refusal to grow up emotionally is their game. They
play it well and they play to win.
|Victims of Club
make up the trophies on the shelves of Players Club members.
Since they know all of the rules
when playing the game, being deceptive comes easy. In fact, some
are so good at it that their victims continue to remain clueless to how
much they have been used.
There are those who are absolutely
convinced that such a person loves them but, for this or that reason, cannot
fully commit themselves. They will even make up excuses for their
player lover. Like horses with blinders, they continue pulling the
cart without seeing what is really going on around them. When they
do finally figure it out, if ever, their hearts are crushed with the added
feature of feeling very much like a fool as well. It was bad enough
being victimized by a player. Now, the realization that everyone
else had figured it out but the one who is the actual victim is even more
Then there are those who figure
it out soon enough. Still, the emotional damage is very real. Good
people who feel that they have finally found love should not be disappointed
by someone who has no idea what the word means. Yet, it happens.
People invest their time, love, hearts, and souls
into what they believe to be a true love relationship only to find that
they have been duped by a member of the Players Club.
Those who survive a player learn
their lesson well. Those who do not become victims or even players
The bottom line is nothing
good comes as a result of playing with people's hearts. Relationship
predators are the only breed of animal in existence who think themselves
to be winners when everyone else knows that they are, in fact, losers.
© all rights reserved - 10/22/2001---
The mission of this not-for-profit website is to promote clear insights
and toleration regarding the many variations of primary relationships that
exist in our world. We ask for neither acceptance or approval but
hope that each visitor who reviews the pages of this site will leave them
with a better understanding of the numerous cultural, historical, preferential,
religious, sexual, and sociological approaches to coupling that have always
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the basic human need to love and be loved takes on many forms which are
accepted by those who practice them, whether right or wrong as determined
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