The Players Club

Introducing the Players Club...
   It's an exclusive club that only allows one kind of person.
   Being a player in the context of loving primary relationships is the only qualification needed to join this club. All you really have to do is have a huge misconception about what such relationships are really about. If going from one conquest to another is your cup of tea, then welcome to the Players Club.
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Gaining Full Membership in the Club...
   Predators eat their prey alive.
   It's just as true amongst homosapians as it is of any other carnivorous species. However, those who are human take a different tact in that they feed on the emotions of others. It's a form of relational murder. Yet, they get away with it time and time again because unsuspecting and sincere victims are easy prey.
   However, predators cannot be described as canibals. Since they don't eat their own kind, that parallel would be inappropriate. No, they eat up people who are truly looking for love and a committed relationship--people who are not like them at all.
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Male Members of the Club...
Recently, while attending one of the regular weekly dances at a local establishment, a middle-aged single responded to my hello with a not so pleasant announcement. It seems that he was miffed by my being there. In fact, he made it clear that he did not enjoy social functions where I was in attendance. I was surprised by his comment but not shocked. You see, he has a solid reputation in our circle of being an absolutely commited member of the Players Club. As a result, he sees all other men as competitors. Like a bull moose protecting his stomping grounds, he butts horns with any young buck who wanders into what he considers to be his territory. Furthermore, he remains clueless to the fact that every female who knows him would rather that he keep his distance from them.
   This same fellow continually demonstrates a kind of boldness that amazes even other players. Like a number of other men, I have experienced excusing myself from my date to use the restroom only to return with him sitting in my seat trying to engage her in a conversation. Once more, I have had to let him know that he is indeed in my seat and that I want it back. To top it off, he looks miffed at me for asking him to move while he is making his way back to his lonely little corner of the room. The word "vulture" comes to mind. His prey might not be dead but, given time with him, it would be soon.
   With players, it's all about conquest.
   Males who move from one woman to the next as easily as changing planes, the excitement of flying high with yet one more conquered female validates them as males. However, when these same women begin to distance themselves, they quickly pounce on them as being unworthy mates and emotionally strangle them to death to prove their point.
    While other men go on to enjoy loving fulfilling exclusive relationships, male members of the Players Club end up as old men drinking beer on their porches on hot summer nights with no one to love or love them back. That's the reward for being a loyal lifetime member of the club.

Female Members of the Club...
      Regardless of the protestations of women, men are not the only relational predators. Females are just as culpible. However, they are more coy and, due to the fact that they are the more attractive sex, can be just as ruthless as males. While a man will be more obvious and somewhat crude in his approach to the whole thing, a woman will manipulate a man into chasing her until she catches him. In it's purer form, that is okay. Still, if the woman is predatory, it is absolutely lethal.
   Again, membership in the Players Club is not predicated upon gender. All you have to do to maintain your standing in the club is to remain clueless as to what constitutes a truly loving primary relationship.
   Vanity plays an important part in the minds of female Players Club members. The need here is to know that men find a woman to be attractive, alluring, and desireable. However, should a male love partner tire of complimenting her beauty and giving into her demands, he will be considered as an ex-boyfriend very soon. She will soon be off on excursions with her new lover and so on and so on.
   Then there is the vamp. This is the female who finds a sense of satisfaction in obtaining another woman's lover. She uses her sexuality
and it usually works. In this case, both the men who fall prey to them as well as the women who lose those men are victimized. Of course, there is something to be said about a man who would drop a good woman for a predatory female. However, the point is well taken. Vamps drain the lifeblood out of others and do it only because it gives them validation. Sharing a genuine loving relationship with anyone makes them too vulnerable. Using others to help them avoid dealing with their own refusal to grow up emotionally is their game. They play it well and they play to win.

Victims of Club Members...
Broken hearts make up the trophies on the shelves of Players Club members.
   Since they know all of the rules when playing the game, being deceptive comes easy. In fact, some are so good at it that their victims continue to remain clueless to how much they have been used.
   There are those who are absolutely convinced that such a person loves them but, for this or that reason, cannot fully commit themselves. They will even make up excuses for their player lover. Like horses with blinders, they continue pulling the cart without seeing what is really going on around them. When they do finally figure it out, if ever, their hearts are crushed with the added feature of feeling very much like a fool as well. It was bad enough being victimized by a player. Now, the realization that everyone else had figured it out but the one who is the actual victim is even more embarassing.
   Then there are those who figure it out soon enough. Still, the emotional damage is very real. Good people who feel that they have finally found love should not be disappointed by someone who has no idea what the word means. Yet, it happens. People invest their time, love, hearts, and souls into what they believe to be a true love relationship only to find that they have been duped by a member of the Players Club.
   Those who survive a player learn their lesson well. Those who do not become victims or even players themselves.
    The bottom line is nothing good comes as a result of playing with people's hearts. Relationship predators are the only breed of animal in existence who think themselves to be winners when everyone else knows that they are, in fact, losers.

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The mission of this not-for-profit website is to promote clear insights and toleration regarding the many variations of primary relationships that exist in our world. We ask for neither acceptance or approval but hope that each visitor who reviews the pages of this site will leave them with a better understanding of the numerous cultural, historical, preferential, religious, sexual, and sociological approaches to coupling that have always existed and will continue to exist as long as there are at least two human beings living on this planet. If the effort put into creating and maintaining this site results in others coming to the realization that the basic human need to love and be loved takes on many forms which are accepted by those who practice them, whether right or wrong as determined by the personal belief system of others, then it will have served it's purpose well.