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Ageless
Love...
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He's
52 amd she is 31 or, conversely, she is 52 and he is 31.
The general assumption is that either some younger gal
is goldigging a wealthy older guy or a younger man is finally fulfilling
his need for the mother whom he never had.
Mary Tyler Moore, Elizabeth Taylor, Susan Sarandon, Goldie
Hawn and Roseanne have a lot more in common than fame. They all chose younger
men as their love interests. The Los Angeles Times reported in 1995
that 23.5% of American women married younger
men. For women age 35-44, the figure was 41%. It may not be a trend yet,
but it's happening more and more.
The term "cradle robbing" has been applied to those who
seek younger lovers. Although,
it is true that there are those who do so for the wrong reasons, the fact
of the matter is that there are many who truly fall in love
with those who are much younger or older than themselves.
As in all types of primary relationships, there are those
whose sencerity and motivations are questionable. However, it would
be wrong for anyone to conclude that any relationships spanning as much
as an entire generation (20 years) exist because at least one of the individuals
has monetary designs or some kind of a psychological problem. Could
it be that younger people actually do fall very much in love
with those who are considerably
older?
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It can happen to those who would never think it possible.
Although, it is a statistical fact that most of us will develop a primary
relationship with someone who is within three years of our own age, there
are those who will go far beyond that norm. To cast some kind of
negative judgement on those who relate in this way is a mistake.
In fact, such relationships can be very workable and fulfilling when both
truly care about each other.
On the other hand, the two examples above are deserving
of a little more consideration.
There are, in fact, older people who have absolutely no
qualms about having a younger person as a lover even if it involves realizing
that part of the attraction has to do with their being finanancially well
off. This writer recalls a very wealthy older gentleman who took
pride in the fact that his material accomplishments included being able
to maintain an extremely good looking wife who was thirty years his junior.
In fact, they understood each other very well in this regard. It
was an accepted part of their relationship and neither was making any attempt
to fool the other, or anyone else. This might not be the kind of
relationship that most of us would ever want to experience. The point
to be made here is that there are couples who are very happy with this
kind of arrangement. He enjoys being able to be intimate
with a beautiful young woman and she feels more than secure as a result
of his income. It's their life and it works for both of them.
Regarding the second illustration, one has to consider
the possibility that there are indeed those who truly look for the mother/father
aspect in a primary relationship. Those who feel short-changed in
this way might seek out an older partner to fulfill that need. Should
the older partner be able to both recognize the need and also be willing
to meet it, then who are we to say that there is something wrong with this
type of relationship? Different people have varying needs.
Age difference is just another one of the many types of
committed
relationships that make up the fabric of our society. They not only
exist, but those involved in them would have it no other way. Love
even has the ability to cross the bounderies of ageless time. |
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The
Allure of Older Women...
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Young men sometimes find older women more interesting
than those who are younger. All too often, a young men perceive women
their age to be too engrossed in themselves. By contrast, a maturer
woman of experience understands this, and knows how to make a man feel
satisfied and at home with himself. She mingles the maternal instinct
with her knowledge of human nature, and flavors it all with that touch
of flattery so agreeable to the masculine taste.
Of course, this can also be said of older men in relationships
with younger women. However, the point of this article is to briefly
explain why the more unthinkable combination is indeed understandable.
The mature woman knows when to make a man talk and
when to talk to him. She studies his weaknesses and avoids aggravating
them. Few young girls could or would take so much pains to please.
But the older woman does it in a manner so tactful and natural. He
loves it.
There are a number of renowned cases of this kind
on record which have resulted in eminently happy marriages, but there
is always the future to consider. The man of twenty- eight may easily
find the woman of thirty-five fascinating, but unless she is expert in
the art of keeping the years at bay in heart and face, he may find her
no longer to his taste at forty-five. However, men tend to grow older,
both in looks and in mind, much sooner than do women. Conversely,
women know how to keep themselves well preserved in appearance. One
need not look to far to find maturer women who have all the powers of youthful
enjoyment which their children possess as contrasted to men of those same
years who have become more or less blasé.
This fact lessens the danger that a disparity of
years in marriage is to the woman's disadvantage. At the same time,
the tendency of men past middle life to admire very young women has
to be taken into consideration. The man who at thirty has married
a woman of forty may very well, at fifty, lose his head over a girl of
eighteen. A woman needs to think twice before she marries any man
many years her junior.
Man divided the years into 365 days, but he did
not hinder some women from being younger at forty than others are at twenty,
and some men from being older at twenty than some women at fifty.
© all rights reserved - 10/22/2001
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The mission of this not-for-profit website is to promote clear insights
and toleration regarding the many variations of primary relationships that
exist in our world. We ask for neither acceptance or approval but
hope that each visitor who reviews the pages of this site will leave them
with a better understanding of the numerous cultural, historical, preferential,
religious, sexual, and sociological approaches to coupling that have always
existed and will continue to exist as long as there are at least two human
beings living on this planet. If the effort put into creating and
maintaining this site results in others coming to the realization that
the basic human need to love and be loved takes on many forms which are
accepted by those who practice them, whether right or wrong as determined
by the personal belief system of others, then it will have served it's
purpose well. |
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