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Few caucasians (whites) have a problem with anyone
who would marry a native American, Hispanic, Oriental, or Mid-Easterner.
The real problem with those who have racial prejudices is their disdain
for anyone who mates with someone who is black. That is, unless it
is another black person.
This attitude stems from racial bigotry that has it's
roots in slavery. Blacks are still seriously looked down upon by
some in our society who have convinced themselves that they are somehow
superior. As a result, the idea of a white being in a romantic
relationship with a black is enough to make them go ballistic. Their
narrow minds find it impossible to understand that true love
knows no bounds.
The good news is that younger people are less apt to be
as bigoted. Despite the news coverage given those who have been caught
up in the Neo-Nazi movement, more young adults than ever accept those in
interracial relationships and may even be involved in one themselves.
Not only that, but the old argument that the offspring of such relationships
will not be accepted by either race has been disproven. Those who
have multiracial heritages are accepted and some have gone on to become
well known sports figures, politicians, actors, major music personalities,
and successful business people.
Still, there is room to criticize both sides of the racial
fence.
There is indeed a double standard in the black community.
While men of color are allowed to enter into primary relationships with
white women, the reverse is not as acceptable. Black women are expected
to consider white men as being the adversary. As a result, those
women who enter into loving relationships
with white men are both a minority and a little appreciated one as well.
It simply isn't done. At least, this is what they are taught and
it is also what they are now questioning.
Stevie Wonder's hit song "Ebony and Ivory" seems to be
applicable to black-white relationships with the exception being that of
black women who love white men. It's a contradiction but one that
is very real in the day-to-day experiences of those who fall into this
category.
Yet, regardless of this issue, there are definitely natural
issues that arise between those who enter into an interracial primary relationship.
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The Family Challenge...
There is the problem of each one merging with the other's
family.
After all, one's immediate family and their acceptance (or lack of it)
is important. For a mate to be rejected by relatives due to color,
it can be devastating and cause a rift in the relationship. Regardless
of how much acceptance there might be, the individual prejudices of family
members can wear on a relationship and possibly even destroy it.
Interracial couples will need to discuss the possible effects that such
a situation might have on their relationship.
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The Societal Challenge..
Then there is the tendency of society to disapprove of
such relationships. It is a rare workplace where one feels comfortable
with introducing a mate who is from another race. Not only that,
but there is always that feeling of being noticed by someone when out in
public. Interracial couples have to get used to others staring at
them and also being able to read lips which obviously disapprove of their
presence in a restaurant or other public place. It is also
entirely possible that the gaze of others might have something to do
with curiousity and even envy. At any rate, it goes with the
turf and must be accepted as such. |
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The "Biracial
Child" Challenge...
Another important consideration is that of children who
are the offspring of interracial couples. A blue-eyed black or a
dark-skinned white may not be accepted by some. Yet, it would seem
that biracial children are indeed being more and more accepted. This
is partially due to their being well respected within the various political
and entertainment industries. Another factor has to do with the changing
views of the younger generation. They accept this as being normal
and see nothing wrong with it at all. Perhaps those who criticize
and condemn the foibles of the young might step back and consider how that
they are much more appreciative of multi-racial individuals and even appreciate
their expanded experiences having grown up in both cultures. |
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The Mixed Culture
Challenge...
Finally, there is the issue of all of the little nuances
of two different types of upbringing. The attitudes, mindsets, and
life views of two people from different racial backgrounds can either contribute
to the intellectual and experiential growth or they can become wedges that
widen any cracks in the relationship that might appear. Wise is the
couple who determine early on that they are going to openly discuss their
life experiences while remaining open to new thougts and concepts.
Hopefully, they will be able to turn their varying backgrounds into yet
one more way to demonstrate their love for each other. Instead of
emphasizing the differences, using them to enrich and add to one another's
world view can be a very positive facet of their relationship.
When all is done and said, it takes two people who truly
love each other to overcome what obstacles seem to be before them.
As in all relationships, commitment
and the determination to make it work will make all the difference in the
world.
Whether one is a chocolate shade of brown or a bleached
version of whiteness is not the determining factor. As in all primary
relationships, it is truly the quality of the love shared between
the two that will make the difference between defeat and victory.
© all rights reserved - 10/22/2001--
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The mission of this not-for-profit website is to promote clear insights
and toleration regarding the many variations of primary relationships that
exist in our world. We ask for neither acceptance or approval but
hope that each visitor who reviews the pages of this site will leave them
with a better understanding of the numerous cultural, historical, preferential,
religious, sexual, and sociological approaches to coupling that have always
existed and will continue to exist as long as there are at least two human
beings living on this planet. If the effort put into creating and
maintaining this site results in others coming to the realization that
the basic human need to love and be loved takes on many forms which are
accepted by those who practice them, whether right or wrong as determined
by the personal belief system of others, then it will have served it's
purpose well. |
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