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Do
Longtime Relationships Still Exist?
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Nicholas Sparkes best seller, "The Notebook," tells the
story of an old man who slowly shuffles down the hallway of a nursing home
to read a story from an tattered notebook to a bedridden elderly woman
who is stricken with Alzheimer's disease. This beautiful love
story takes the two of them back to their youth
where they first met each other and, thus, a romance
that lasted a lifetime.
Despite the fact that more than half of all marriages
end up in divorce while other couples decide
to cohabitate instead of wed
legally, there are still those who have enjoyed and experienced very long
relationships. Fiftieth anniversary celebrations still occur.
Elderly couples who married when they were very young are still deeply
in love with each other. Furthermore,
those who have lost their longtime mates still miss them and are spending
the last days of their lives filled with sweet memories of a love that
fulfilled them in every way. Even in this world of so many failed
relationships, there are those that not only worked out well but have
lasted a lifetime. |
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What
Are the Characteristics of a Longtime Relationship?
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Timeless Love
There are those who simply commit themselves to each other
for better or for worse. Whatever their level of love for each other
or their need for it, they are somehow able to overcome every adversity
and challenge to their relationship and go on to spend their entire lives
together. It does not mean that there is something wrong with the
rest of us. It has more to do with the two people coming together
who have a chemistry that is conducive to each other in most every respect.
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Mutual Faithfulness
Of course, one of the major reasons why couples split
has to do with infidelity. Those who
have successfully experienced a very long term relationship have either
been faithful to each other or they have overcome the problems associated
with the revelation of an affair.
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Satisfaction
It could be that expectations were originally low to start
with or that each one is completely satisfied having found his/her soulmate.
At any rate, unresolved disactisfaction can kill a relationship.
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Shared History
This eventually becomes the part of the glue that holds
a long term relationship together. In this case, the more of life
two people experience together, the more connected they become and continue
to be.
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Family Ties
Depending on one's upbringing and quality of relationship
with children and relatives, the ties to family are the other part of the
glue that can keep couples together.
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Communications
Couples who have worked on finding a number of ways (verbal,
romantic, affection, etc.) to communicate
with each other are more apt to be satisfied with their mates.
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Maturing Together
Should one person in a relationship go on to mature as
a person without the other one having done so, it can result in a shaky
relationship. Those who have maintained long time relationships have
worked at remaining shoulder to shoulder in helping each other grow as
individuals. |
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What
Can We Learn From Longtime Relationships?
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Oftentimes we see elderly couples
enjoying a dinner out with each other. They seem to speak very few
words. There is something of a kind of commonality between them as
if they are no longer two separate people.
As you get to know them, it becomes
obvious that there is little difference between the two. Personalities,
gestures, mannerisms, and even the way they carry themselves have been
so fused together that they are as one person.
No matter how we view this kind
of merging between two people over many years, it is indeed how longtime
couples relate. They are happy in their own way and should be honored
and respected for the many years they have invested in their family, friends,
and community.
We'll not see as many longtime
couples as once was the norm in our country. Those that do survive
the many challenges of marriage to go on and stay happily married together
are examples to all of us that it is indeed possible.
Perhaps there is hope for the rest
of us as well.
© all rights reserved - 10/22/2001--
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Who says that I am
too old to boogie!
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The mission of this not-for-profit website is to promote clear insights
and toleration regarding the many variations of primary relationships that
exist in our world. We ask for neither acceptance or approval but
hope that each visitor who reviews the pages of this site will leave them
with a better understanding of the numerous cultural, historical, preferential,
religious, sexual, and sociological approaches to coupling that have always
existed and will continue to exist as long as there are at least two human
beings living on this planet. If the effort put into creating and
maintaining this site results in others coming to the realization that
the basic human need to love and be loved takes on many forms which are
accepted by those who practice them, whether right or wrong as determined
by the personal belief system of others, then it will have served it's
purpose well. |
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