|| How it is that
there are so many people
who don't know how to relate to those of us who are definitely romantics?
| Of course, to be fair, I fully realize that we romantics
put more emphasis on the relationship between two people than do others.
For example, I just watched a television commercial that contained a humorous
approach to selling the idea of ordering cable television. It seems
that the installer had just completed his work. The male customer
gives him a big hug, pats him on the back, holds onto him for a few more
seconds, and then tells him how much he is appreciated. The surprised
installer keeps his cool, gets a signature on his billing form, and leaves
as quickly as possible. It's laughable but it makes the point here
as well. You see, there are those who simply don't know what to
do with a romantic.
Since this is indeed a dilemma, please allow me to provide
some insights that will be helpful to those of you who have fallen for
one of us and find yourself struggling to maintain the relationship.
Those who do not share our need for a more intense kind
of closeness with another human being find it hard to relate to someone
who emphasizes the relationship above everything else in their lives. Yet,
that is the very soul of a romantic. Our careers might be fulfilling
and challenging and our outside interests can be very enjoyable but everything
else pales in contrast to that special someone whom we love. If you
are the type who looks for the television remote control before you would
consider sitting down with your romantic partner to talk about the happenings
of the day, then be forewarned that you will eventually end up alone.
view falling in love as either a choice or something that simply happens
when two people are attracted to each other. Otherwise, our beloveds
just happened to be the right kind of person or the timing was ripe for
a new relationship. Not so with romantics. We perceive finding
our soulmates as being something more mystical. Our special someones
are fated to meet us as we are them. We have some kind of innate
sense that tells us there is someone out there looking for us just as we
are looking for them. In the meantime, we have to stay in touch with
our better senses and not settle for anything less because our path will
eventually converge with that of our soulmate.
We dare not miss them when they pass by.
Touchy Feely Relationships...
you are not open to a more demonstrative kind of affection,
then you are going to feel smothered by a romantic. We are touchers,
huggers, holders, squeezers, cuddlers, snugglers, expressers, and kissers.
Holding hands while we walk together, sitting close to our beloeved in
public, cuddling up on the sofa, kissing him/her every chance we get, and
looking for every moment when we can say, "I love you" one more time comes
as easy to us as eating and sleeping. It's how we demonstrate
our love and heaven help the person who can't enjoy being that well loved.
It's true. There are those who could do with little
physical intimacy in a primary relationship.
Romantics simply cannot tolerate those who are not passionately tuned into
lovemaking. The physical expression of love is extremely important
to us. We are accused of placing too much emphasis on sex, yet, romantics
are offended by this charge. First of all, we don't have "sex."
That term implies 15 minutes of him getting his way and then leaving the
bedroom. That won't fly with a romantic. If you want to make
love with one of us, it had better be often and it had better be at least
two hours or more of uniterrupted and intense intimacy. Secondly,
just believe it.
Romance in Their Relationship...
I am quoted often for having originated the phrase, "Romance
is all the little kisses in between." A romantic not only understands
that statement but will nod his/her head in complete agreement. For
us, the moment a lovemaking session ends, the next one begins. However,
in between, there are all those little things that two lovers do for each
other as a build up to the next evening of passion. Whether it's
holding hands while walking through the mall, sending each other an e-greeting
card via the Internet, or leaving a love
note where our beloved can find it, we are already working toward the
next time. If you can't handle romance, you should not be involved
in a relationship with a romantic. Disatisfaction will eventually
settle in and push your beloved to decide against you. If you are
not willing or able to meet this need, you'll be perceived as being uncaring,
sedate, and one dimensional by a romantic. Conversely, if you are
up to it, you'll never be loved as much or as intensely.
There are a number of other characteristics that romantics
naturally manifest but, suffice it to say, those above are the main ones.
The rest are easily identifiable and most people who truly love a romantic
will be able to deal with them without too much trouble. On the other
hand, should you not be able to understand or meet the needs of a romantic
as stated above, the consequences of not doing so are a given. It
may not happen right away but the disatisfaction will eventually become
too much to handle and the end will
Still, if you can meet their needs, you will be doing
yourself a tremendous favor. You will never be so loved, so cherished,
so cared for, and so well taken care of.
That's a promise.
© all rights reserved - 8/2/2001---
The mission of this not-for-profit website is to promote clear insights
and toleration regarding the many variations of primary relationships that
exist in our world. We ask for neither acceptance or approval but
hope that each visitor who reviews the pages of this site will leave them
with a better understanding of the numerous cultural, historical, preferential,
religious, sexual, and sociological approaches to coupling that have always
existed and will continue to exist as long as there are at least two human
beings living on this planet. If the effort put into creating and
maintaining this site results in others coming to the realization that
the basic human need to love and be loved takes on many forms which are
accepted by those who practice them, whether right or wrong as determined
by the personal belief system of others, then it will have served it's