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| Soulmates:
Two people who are very compatible with each other in disposition, point
of view, and sensitivity. Those who use this term in regard to primary
relationships view it as a way of describing those who are meant for
each other in a very special and unique way--almost as if they were spiritually
or mystically connected. |
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What Kind of
Soulmate Are You?
Not everyone is a hopeful romantic.
Just as there are different types of personalities an temperments, we human
beings seem to gravitate toward one of four clearly identifiable relationship
approach types. We can't help it. Whatever the factors that go into
shaping our view of love from childhood through adulthood; we still find
ourselves clearly manifesting the characteristics below.
Look over the four types of soulmates. You may not
be able to immediately identify yourself or your mate, so take some time
to consider which one fits best. After doing this, take a further
look at the other types. Perhaps you will be able to identify your
mate. How do these soulmate types interact with each other?
What would it be like for two people of the same type to be with each other?
Could those who are so different from each other still be referred to as
"soulmates?"
After you've read the basic descriptions of the soulmate
types, stay with us to consider some other important insights.
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The Romantic
Soulmate...
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Seeks permanence and completeness in a loving, caring relationship.
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Feels a stronger sense of self-identity resulting from the relationship
which produces fulfillment.
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Shares all aspects of life as expressions of togetherness from the mundane
to the major.
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Focuses on finding ideas and ways to enhance the intensity and quality
of the relationship.
The Sharing
Soulmate...
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Views sharing love and life with another as the best possible way to change
and grow.
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Senses completeness only when sharing self with another in a primary relationship.
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Perceives sharing dreams, plans, and projects as the means of demonstrating
love.
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Sees intimate relationships as a
way for two people to mutually improve and find purpose in their lives
together.
The Constant Soulmate...
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Sees consistency, faithfulness, and loyalty as the finest expression to
demonstrate love to another.
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Values the other person's individuality by being available without feeling
a need to always lead.
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Focuses on refining the relationship which results in a greater sense of
self-worth.
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Emphasizes the importance of both being dependable in the context of the
relationship.
The Independent Soulmate...
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Views a primary relationship as a partnership for each to help the other
reach their full potential.
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Accepts their mates as seperate individuals and need the same kind of acceptance
for themselves.
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Values his/her own autonomy and is sensitive to any hint of being controlled
or coerced by others.
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Enjoys the intensity and novelty of the experience of love.-
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Romantics-love
to demonstrate their love and affection
to and for their mates. However, the warning here is that, even when
matched with another romantic, no
one can tolerate such attention on a continual basis. The "24X7 Romantic"
will seem absolutely wonderful at first (especially to someone who has
been alone for awhile) but then begin to wear on the other person.
Independents are especially sensitive to this as they
begin to feel guilty that they cannot return the love
from a romantic as quickly or often as it is given to them (they will even
misinterpret it as being controlled). As one woman expressed it,
"One gets tired of lobster and crab legs after awhile. Most of us
are more comfortable with a good hamburger."
The idea here is for the romantics to learn how to balance
their tendency to continually do special and nice things for their beloveds
within the context of normal, everyday living. Be romantic but give
lovers room to breathe is essential.
The bottom line is that romantics can overwhelm their
partners to such a degree that they are not able to respond with any real
confidence. Making someone else feel inadequate is destructive to
a relationship.
True romantics know how to give their lovers just enough
loving attention to keep them going strong. Keeping that balance
proves the romantic's natural capability to keep their soulmates coming
back for more.
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Sharers
are those who look for their soulmates first when they get home from work
to talk and hear all about what happened throughout the day. They
want their mates to be their business partners--or at least heavily involved
in their ventures. Every good thing (e.g. an unexpected bonus or
the receipt of a new credit card) must be shared with their loves.
Conversely, they share all of the bad things, too; disappointments, hurts,
sorrows, negative experiences, etc. In fact, if they are not careful,
their mates can get bogged down with all of the problems of their sharing
mates to the point of serious frustration. Sharers have to work harder
than the other soulmate types to keep some things to themselves (biting
their lips) so as not to frustrate their mates. Also, it is difficult
for them to understand how a romantic might not want to hear all about
how bad things are going at work while on a night out together--or how
an independent might respond to the same with leaving them standing alone
in the midst of telling their mate about it. Be one who shares all
of the good things but discipline yourself to bite your lip when it comes
to telling your mate about the negative things you deal with. Of
course, sharing some of these things is fine--but not continually.
It's just one more way that you can really demonstrate your love to your
soulmate. |
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The mission of this not-for-profit website is to promote clear insights
and toleration regarding the many variations of primary relationships that
exist in our world. We ask for neither acceptance or approval but
hope that each visitor who reviews the pages of this site will leave them
with a better understanding of the numerous cultural, historical, preferential,
religious, sexual, and sociological approaches to coupling that have always
existed and will continue to exist as long as there are at least two human
beings living on this planet. If the effort put into creating and
maintaining this site results in others coming to the realization that
the basic human need to love and be loved takes on many forms which are
accepted by those who practice them, whether right or wrong as determined
by the personal belief system of others, then it will have served it's
purpose well. |
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