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| Date:
A way of getting to know another person by spending time with him/her on
a planned outing or activity. Single people date singles;
married
people
date their mates; married people date others
and get into more trouble than it is worth. |
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More Than One
Type of Date...
Dating is not so simple as going out with someone nice
and having a good time together. Our motivations for dating can differ
from situation to situation. Gender also plays an important part
due to the fact that men and women are not motivated in exactly the same
way.
Following is a brief description of various types of dates.
Once you have looked them over, please read on as I have expanded upon
them further. Once you've reviewed them, you will have some new insights
into dating and, hopefully, it will become all the more enjoyable to you.
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Blind Dates:
This term refers to a date set up by a mutual friend(s). Unless some
matchmaking is involved, it is generally understood that nothing serious
is expected to happen. Of all the types of dates, this is the one
where both parties have the least information about each other, if any.
Some enjoy the adventure. Others refuse to do it.
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Group
Dates: Going out with another couple or
even a larger group can be a lot of fun. This is also a great way
to see how the other person interacts with people.
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First Dates: Now that
you've met someone and have scheduled your first date together, what will
you do and where will you go? Check out the helpful ideas below.
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Fun Dates: Be careful
here. The definition of this type of date varies widely between men
and women. Women think of fun dates as an evening of letting one's
hair down, laughing a lot, dancing
the night away, or doing something totally unique to their experience like
white water rafting or going to a new nightclub that has recently opened.
Conversely, guys think of fun dates as all of the above with the biggest
"fun" happening somewhere
at the end of the date. They can't help
it. They're predators. God
made them that way.
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Internet Dates: This
new
form of dating is revolutionizing the way people meet, fall in love,
and begin permanent relationships.
Once two people connect on the net, an actual face-to-face meeting may
not be too far behind. Be sure to read the "Seven
Rules for Offline Meetings" as well as some helpful thoughts that are
provided further into this article.
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Serious Dates: There
comes a point in every person's life (sometimes, more than once) when the
decision is made by both to consider themselves in an exclusive relationship.
Some simply go "steady" together. Others live
together.
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Third Dates: Every
female knows what this date is all about. Our current cultural trend
is for guys to strongly indicate their desire for sexual
intimacy by the third date. Keep in mind that, although women
expect men to make this request, they are not always willing to comply.
Not only that, but men are definitely more recreational than relational
in their approach to date sex. In other words, women think of it
as a demonstration of commitment, whereas, guys think of it as simply having
a good time.
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Un-Dates: This has
to do with how you get out of a date or confront someone you've been dating
with the news that you would rather not see them anymore. |
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Going In With
Both Eyes Closed
The Blind Date...
- The key
word here is "noncommitment." When accepting this kind of
a date (to either appease a matchmaking friend or satisfy one's curiosity
about another person you've not yet actually met), be sure that you go
into it
committed to not committing to anything. Treat
it as a singular event to have some fun and a nice time with another person.
Barring the possibility that your date will turn out to be the "date from
hell," you can enjoy sharing both mutual interests and things not in common
with each other even if it seems obvious from the beginning that there
is no real attraction.
Furthermore, do not try to
get the other person to commit to a second date until after the first date
has had a chance to sink in for at least twenty-four hours. It not
only puts the other person on the spot if they are not interested
in pursuing a relationship with you, but will also save you the embarassment
of being told on the spot that there is really no interest on the
other your person's part. If a second date is something both of you
would be interested in, save that for a phone conversation or an e-mail
message a few days later. That way, you can go into it with both
of you feeling good about it and, this time, with both eyes open.
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It's A Date!--The
First Date...
- Here are some unique
first date ideas that will keep you out of the "dinner and a movie rut"
and set your first date apart from the rest:
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A Picnic In The Park: Eliminate the pressure
of a Saturday night date by enjoying the relaxed atmosphere of a public
park on a Sunday afternoon. Pack a basket of "finger foods" like cheese,
fruit, crackers and chocolates and a chilled bottle of sparkling cider
(alcoholic beverages are illegal in most city and state parks--however,
some situations are worth the risk). For that extra special touch include
china plates, long-stemmed glasses, and cloth napkins. In fact, some shopping
mall stores carry both basket and backpack outfits equipped with these
items. The two of you can search out the perfect spot beneath a shade
tree to enjoy your picnic, do some people watching, and get to know each
other.
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-© all
rights reserved - 10/22/2000
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The mission of this not-for-profit website is to promote clear insights
and toleration regarding the many variations of primary relationships that
exist in our world. We ask for neither acceptance or approval but
hope that each visitor who reviews the pages of this site will leave them
with a better understanding of the numerous cultural, historical, preferential,
religious, sexual, and sociological approaches to coupling that have always
existed and will continue to exist as long as there are at least two human
beings living on this planet. If the effort put into creating and
maintaining this site results in others coming to the realization that
the basic human need to love and be loved takes on many forms which are
accepted by those who practice them, whether right or wrong as determined
by the personal belief system of others, then it will have served it's
purpose well. |
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