| The realtor's rule that "...the three most
important things to consider when buying property is location, location,
and location" is just as applicable when it comes to locating other singles
| If you live in a remote area where there are only small towns
nearby, then it only stands to reason that your chances of meeting someone
special are not as good as someone else who lives in a large metropolitan
Admittedly, the information below is intended for those
who are located near the types of resources that are listed. Other
than the possibility that there might very well be someone who will attract
your attention in a smaller community, the rationale is that the larger
the surrounding population, the better will be your chances.
Also, the assumption that the same resources are available
to all ages is not a good one. They may be similiar but a different
approach is necessary if you are going to be successful. With that
thought in mind, the categories below are split out to better describe
how you might proceed.
Singles Bars: These range from local establishments
where there is a very friendly atmosphere to "flesh factories." It
really depends upon the emphasis of the bar owner, the tone he/she sets,
and the general makeup of the clientele. Some singles bars are fun
gethering places for singles to meet, whereas, others are simply places
where hooking up for reasons other than finding a relationship is the emphasis.
Dance Clubs: The same could be said of those establishments
which feature dancing as the main form of entertainment. However,
the popularity of dancing in a singles environment has always been attritbuted
to the opportunity that it gives strangers to meet each other without having
to date or rely on slower forms of courting.
Note: Guys, don't allow yourself to be one of those fellows who, as the
women say, "...goes to a dance just
to hold up the walls." Get out on the floor and make yourself learn
how to dance. A strong male lead will never have any problem getting
the ladies to dance with him.
Churches: Many religious organizations work hard
at attracting young adults to their various singles programs. If
you are looking for someone who also places some import on things of the
spirit, this might be a good resource for you. Before you start visiting
churches, make some phone calls to some of the larger congregations in
your area. They will be happy to describe their singles programs
School: Your parents are sending you to college
to get an education and prepare for the future. However, no one should
ever doubt that this is a great time for meeting others and perhaps even
finding that special someone. The caution here is to stay responsible
and not allow yourself to go crazy. There are those who are more
concerned about the social side of their college years and could care less
about whether or not they get an education. Get out and date.
Have fun. Perhaps you will meet your future mate but don't lose your
focus as to why you are there.
Friends: Single people should work very hard at
maintaining even nominal friendships. You see, the person you recently
dated--even though neither of you sensed no attraction to each other--may
know someone who would rock your world if you were to meet. However,
if you turn this same person off by demonstrating your disappointment that
they were not enthralled by having been on a date with you, they will probably
not be inclinded to tell any of their friends about you. Protect
by being someone who is liked by everyone. One of them might
be the link in the chain that will introduce you to the one big love
of your life.
Internet: One of the main staple businesses on
the net are the many singles search sites. Match.com
is currently the number one web site for singles to meet other singles.
In fact, this type of approach to finding others is revolutionizing the
whole culture in regard to courting. Now, you can review hundreds
of profiles, along with accompanying photos, and then use the user-friendly
site tools to contact those in whom you are interested. Check out
the "Internet" button to the right (Singles Search) for more information
on this new and effective way to meet other single people.
All of the resources above are applicable to this age
group as well. However, those in their thirties will soon discover
that, unlike younger and older singles alike, their prospects are not as
Singles bars and dance clubs will continue to be a good
possibility for you as there are a good number of people your age who use
this venue to meet others. Churches tend to favor those in their
early twenties when it comes to their organized singles programs.
Of course, most of those in their college years are also twenty-something.
Furthermore, most of your friends will have been married by now, thus,
narrowing the chances of them being an effective resource for you.
This age group is driving the singles
search sites on the Internet. The vast majority of profiles on
these sites are within this age range. In fact, of all the resources
available to the thirtiesh crowd, this approach is probably the most effective.
Finally, you will begin to notice as a single over thirty
person that other singles your age may have already been married
and divorced by now. Falling in love
with a recently divorced person will involve a set of factors with which
you may or may not be able to deal. It might also involve children.
Love can always find a way but this kind of scenario might be something
you will have to seriously consider.
Sad to say, you will be hard-pressed to find any religious
organization that attempts to reach out to this age group. Most are
unwilling to deal with the challenges of ministering to people who have
come out of divorce (as is the case with most people in this age group)
and are looking for a venue to locate other's of their kind. The
more conservative the church, the less likely they will be inclined to
follow their own God who "...so loved the world..." They simply don't
want to deal with the complicatons that this singles age group presents.
This is a sad inditement on modern-day religion but is justifiable and
The most popular resource for people this age are singles
clubs. Most cities have several organized middle-aged singles
groups. This writer lives in a mid-sized east coast city where
there are several such clubs. It is actually possible to attend a
function filled with over-40 singles any day of the week. The trick
here is to locate one in your area and to join it. You will soon
find that the members of these groups usually belong to one or two more
such groups in the area. They will be more than happy to tell you
about the other groups. Depending upon your social needs, you will
probably not lack for plenty of things to do with other singles as long
either live in a city or one is nearby. Tip: Go to the Yahoo! search
engine and key in the words "singles group" along with the name of your
state. Chances are you will find one right away.
Another good resource for this age group are dance
bars that cater to middle-agers. Again, it will take some research
to locate those establishments which cater to this age group. Dancing
is a great way to easily meet others and have some fun at the same time.
Finally, this age group has also tapped into the Internet.
Still, there are those who are still not computer literate. This
writer's advice would be to get a computer as quickly as possible and take
a weekend class at a local community college to learn how to use it as
quickly as possible. Middle-aged singles are finding each other on
search sites and also using e-mail to communicate with each other.
It really works.
© all rights reserved - 10/22/2001--
The mission of this not-for-profit website is to promote clear insights
and toleration regarding the many variations of primary relationships that
exist in our world. We ask for neither acceptance or approval but
hope that each visitor who reviews the pages of this site will leave them
with a better understanding of the numerous cultural, historical, preferential,
religious, sexual, and sociological approaches to coupling that have always
existed and will continue to exist as long as there are at least two human
beings living on this planet. If the effort put into creating and
maintaining this site results in others coming to the realization that
the basic human need to love and be loved takes on many forms which are
accepted by those who practice them, whether right or wrong as determined
by the personal belief system of others, then it will have served it's