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| This is one middle-aged single guy who has
dated enough women near my age to realize that too many of them are still
alone because they continue to insist that any relationship be on
their terms--with no compromise. |
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| Following are the typical lines that I have heard over
and over again. Those who truly desire a committed relationship with
a man may say similiar things but do so within reason. However, those
who refuse to budge an inch state these same things with a literalness
that forces even the sincerest and most committed of males to simply look
elsewhere. |
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"I don't cook meals
at home anymore."
Fine. I understand full well that, after twenty
to thirty years of being married to a guy who expected dinner on the table
when he got home and three hungry kids to feed, you no longer want to be
a slave to the kitchen. However, if you're using this as an excuse
to get me to take you out to dinner every time we go out on a date, I am
not going to buy it. Sure, I'll take you out for dinner but it isn't
going to kill you to put together a nice homecooked meal for the both of
us once in awhile. Afterall, I am a middle-aged single guy and would
absolutely love to have some real food now and again. Yes, I do my
own cooking but you have to know that it is limited and, if not for Mrs.
Swanson and Healthy Choice, I'd starve to death. Furthermore, why
can't we enjoy making a meal together? I am not one of those self-centered
lazy guys who expects you to do it all. I'll even cook the
meal if you'll just not be so darned particular or fuss at me because I
do it "wrong." If nothing else, I'll set the table, pour the wine,
and help you with the cleanup afterwards. I'll even blow out the
candle before we enjoy dessert together.
Excuse me. The phone is ringing.
"Oh, hi, Rene'e!"
"Thursday evening?"
"Sure, that'll be fine." |
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"I need my space."
So do I. However, if we are to pursue a normal and
genuine relationship, we should spend some time together that is not limited
to your blocking me in on your calendar--that is, if you should have some
available time. My personal time is just as precious. However,
if all you do is fit me in between all of your many activities, then why
shouldn't I feel a little indignate?
I realize that you are now enjoying the freedom you did
not have when you were married and raising a family. Still, I am
not demanding that we see each other every day, every night, and all during
the weekend. A relationship depends upon mutual interaction and a
couple of phone calls or e-mails in between weekends does not a relationship
make. Nor does one night a week granted by your royal majesty to
her humble servant.
After all, Rene'e told me that I could come over to her
place anytime as long as I called ahead to let her know. She also
told me that she loves to cook. |
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"My career is more
important to me than anything."
Security is important to all of us. Women seem to
emphasize it all the more because they have to fight harder to get it and
to also keep it. So, I understand. I'd be the last one to try
and talk you in to curtailing, minimizing, or not productively pursuing
it. Work hard when you are at work. Make lots of money.
Go to the top of your field and basque in the glory of it all. However,
everyone needs time to unwind, have some fun, and relax. I'd like
to share some of those times with you.
Furthermore, I would only be too happy to hear all about
your career. You can vent with me, gripe to me, and depend upon me
to be sympathetic to the issues you confront every day at the place where
you work. Yet, there are many other things that we can talk about
so please don't insist on constantly droning on about it. If you
don't seem to have anything else to talk about, perhaps you might consider
the possibility that your job is actually detrimental to any kind of a
relationship..
Anyhow, Rene'e has a good job but I understand that
she loves to go out dancing every Friday night and enjoys day trips on
the weekend, too. Hmmm, I wonder if maybe....... |
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"Men have been one
disappointment after another."
Tell me about it. I've met the kind of guys you've
dated in the past and I don't blame you for feeling that way. However,
you ought to meet some of the women I have dated. Perhaps we should
introduce them to your ex-boyfriends. They would be perfect for each
other.
Still, I can't help but feel that you are superimposing
their shortcomings and abuses toward you on to me. If I am to be
condemned, I'd like to earn it on my own merits and not be punished for
the sins of other males.
Should you be willing to check your old baggage at the
door in order to give our relationship a chance, I'd be quite willing not
to blame you for all the silly, self-centered, vain, and idiotic women
that I have dated, too.
Say, it just dawned on me that Rene'e has never bitched
about men. I didn't think of that until this moment.
Now, what were we talking about? |
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"I want to remain
single and will never marry again."
Actually, this is another way of saying to a guy, "I want
you to be my friend, companion, and playmate, but I have no intentions
on giving up my freedom or independency."
Fine!
There are indeed men who are more than happy to maintain
their own independency while enjoying a non-committed relationship with
a female who provides sexual fulfillment without any strings attached.
In fact, I know both of them. One is self-centered
and the other is disfunctional.
Otherwise, ladies, the good guys are eventually going
to find their soulmates, fall in love, propose, get married, and leave
you standing there feeling very independent and alone with your two cats
on your seventieth birthday.
Excuse me. Rene'e just called and wants to know
if I would consider living with her? |
Dear lady, I understand that your relational failures
have led you to find every excuse imaginable to avoid committing to a relationship
with me. However, you must understand that your inability to accept
the fact that there are indeed sincere, sweet, caring, good, and loving
men out there who are more than able to fulfill a woman in every way--regardless
of your personal experience to the contrary.
As for me, I am going to have to pass you up as
it seems that someone named "Rene'e" has gotten my attention.
Goodbye, dear lady, and do have a nice life.
"Hi, Rene'e! Mind if I drop by tonight?" |
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© all rights reserved - 6/21/2002---
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