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Being divorced and single is not my preference.
At 62 years of age, I remain hopeful that a pretty woman will one day cross
my path, zing my heart, and accept an invitation from me for a romantic
walk together that will last the rest of our lives.
However, my experiences as a guy who is single again has
been cause for some concern. I've dated several women close to my
age and find that most of them are still bitter as result of their marital
breakups and, as a result, are resistent regarding any commitment to either
an exclusive or permanant relationship. Having to be made responsible
for the failures and foibles of their ex-husbands or previous boyfriends
before they give me a chance to prove myself is not only unfair but very
discouraging. I think this to be the main reason why some 50-plus
year old women will remain alone the rest of their lives. No man
will put up with constantly having to take the wrap for all of those other
"a__holes"--whether they really were or not.
Conversely, younger women are much more willing to commit
to a long-term relationship. However, most of them are still raising
children. Older guys may not be up to walking an adolescent through
his/her teens. In my case, I've done that four times in a row and
would personally enjoy being a step-father as long as she was willing to
work with me regarding her children. Still, most men would not be
up to it even if it meant having a much younger woman as a wife.
I could list a number of items that further complicate
my own personal search for my special someone, but I would rather take
a more positive approach. Therefore, I've composed a description
of my dream lady and placed it on this page.
Hopefully, Roy Orbison would not mind me using his hit
song, "Pretty Woman" as a lead in to my personal preferences regarding
the lady for whom I seek.... |
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My Pretty Woman
is a Real Person...
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"Pretty woman walking down the street
Pretty woman the kind I'd like to meet"
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One
woman I dated was absolutely gorgeous. However, she decided after
our fourth date that I was not her "equal." Her reaction was a result
of a conversation we had concerning her assumption that I was going to
travel throughout various foreign countries with her during my four weeks
of annual vacation. When I told her that this would not be the case,
she dumped me. She was a beautiful woman but it became obvious to
me that her view of men had more to do with their financial status than
their hearts and souls. Upon hearing of this experience, a dear friend
of mine advised me to "...find a real, genuine down-to-earth-woman and
you'll be much happier."
Being pretty begins in the heart and works it's way out. There is
much to be said about character, integrity, and being a real person.
If I were to prioritize those characteristics that would be most important
to me, this one would be at the top of the list. |
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My Pretty Woman
is Genuine...
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"Pretty woman, I don't believe
you, you're not the truth
No one could look as good as you
(Mercy!)"
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Several
of the women I have dated were very clear in declaring their belief that
they, too, were romantics. However, I soon learned that what they
really meant was, "I love to be romanced but have no intention of reciprocating."
The only one I really appreciated was the one who told me that up front.
As a romantic, I do not expect reciprocation. I'd much rather she
be honest with me and simply appreciate the fact that she has a true romantic
for a boyfriend/mate.
Rather than telling a man what one might think he wants to hear, being
truthful is much more important. I firmly believe that the reason
most new relationships do not survive the first three months is because
someone was not honest from the very beginning. Truth has a way of
working itself to the surface no matter what we do to keep it submerged. |
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My Pretty Woman
is Attractive & Feminine...
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"Pretty woman won't you pardon
me
Pretty woman I couldn't help but
see
Pretty woman, That you look lovely
as can be
Are you lonely just like me (Rrrrowrr...)"
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No woman will ever change the fact that
men are visual creatures. It simply will never happen. However,
men are varied in their preferences regarding whatever mental image they
have of a visually attractive female. Some like them slender and
some like their gals to be on the large side. One fellow is switched
on by small narrow-faced women with big eyes while the guy next to him
loves a gal who is exotic looking.
However, just as fellows who allow
themselves to get out of shape and do not keep themselves up cannot expect
to attract women, a woman who does not take care of herself should not
blame all of maledom because they don't get invitations to
date.
As for me, I prefer slender women
who enjoy their femininity. A lady who enjoys dressing up in a nice
dress and heels to go out dancing but can just as easily throw on a pair
of jeans for a day at an amusement park will get my attention every time.
A little makeup, a feminine hair
style, a few curves in the right places, and legs that are definitely all
female--Rrrrowrr!!! |
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My Pretty Woman
is a Communicator...
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"Pretty woman stop a while
Pretty woman talk a while"
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Any marriage counselor will tell you
that one of the main reasons why couples break up is their inability to
communicate well with each other. Regardless of whether or not a
conversation might be about shared personal issues, what's happening at
work, mutual interests, or the state of world affairs, couples need to
find time to talk with each other.
I am not one to look for the television
remote control as soon as I get home after a day of work. It's more
important that I find her first and share a few moments together.
If that means sitting down to cuddle on the sofa and just sharing whatever
is on our mind, then so be it. It's called "communication" and it
is indeed the glue that keeps the "relate" in relationships.
Talk to me, baby. |
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My Pretty Woman
is Personable...
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"Pretty woman give your smile to
me
Pretty woman, yeah yeah yeah"
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Laugh with me. Smile with me.
Play with me. Have fun with me. There will be plenty of times
when life will demand that we handle situations responsibly and deal with
serious issues. In the meantime, let's enjoy each other to the fullest.
Second marriages are just as much
about healing from the past as they are finding a new love and a new life.
However, poisoning a new relationship by not dealing with the bitterness
stemming from any previous relationships only serves to put a damper on
what should be the happiest time of your life.
Let's go dancing on the weekend.
Let's take the tee-tops off of my Camaro, turn up the volume on the car
CD player, and whiz down a shoreline road like a couple of teenagers.
Let's wrestle on the sofa and don't you dare accuse me of letting you win
just so that you can have your way with me. Life is too short to
endure having to live with someone whose mouth corners are locked in one
position.
Smile with me. |
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My Pretty Woman
Enjoys Intimacy...
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"Pretty woman look my way
Pretty woman say you'll stay with
me
'Cause I need you I'll treat you
right
Come with me baby Be mine tonight"
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So, I am supposed to play down the fact
that I am a sexual being? I won't do it. Neither will I apologize
for being a sexually driven male nor will I victimize any unsuspecting
woman by using manipulation or guile to get her into bed with me.
I fully realize that anyone can
have sex but true intimacy is the shared experience of two people who genuinely
care about each other. One night stands are acceptable to some but
not for me. Maybe it's because I value the feelings of others.
Maybe it's because I enjoy knowing that the person I am with is loved and
loves me, too. Maybe it's because I am a true romantic. At
any rate, it's essential for me to have a real relationship with my pretty
woman before experiencing intimacy with her.
You see, sex lasts about 15
minutes--30 if you are lucky. On the other hand, intimacy lasts for
hours and, usually, a lifetime.
"Romance is all the little
kisses in between." It's treating each other right previous to undressing
each other and until the next time we get in between the sheets together. |
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My Pretty Woman
Walks With Me...
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"Come with me baby, be mine tonight
Pretty woman don't walk on by
Pretty woman don't make me cry
Pretty woman, don't walk away,
hey..."
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With half of our generation's marriages
ending up in divorce, as did mine, it becomes essential for two people
to grasp tightly onto each other's hand and never let go.
Please don't walk on by. Please
don't walk away.
Walk with me.
I don't want to walk ahead of you
nor do I expect you to walk behind me. Let's walk side by side--together.
We are not going to agree
on everything. Deciding where we will agree to disagree is the stuff
of a real relationship. Agreeing on the essentials provides the foundation
for a solid, loving, caring experience together.
Working through each day knowing
that her greatest joy is to find me afterwards to continue our walk together
is my idea of a Pretty Woman. |
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"Okay... if that's the way it must be,
I guess I'll go on home, it's late
There'll be tomorrow night,
but wait, What do I see
Is she walking back to me
Yes, she's walking back to me
Oh, oh, pretty woman"
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© all rights reserved - 6/8/2002---
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