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Single and fulfilled?
Absolutely!
In fact, those who fit this simple, yet, startling description
can now formally refer to themselves as "quirkyalones."
The phrase was recently coined by Sasha Cagen, a thirty-year-old
author, who refers to those seemingly happy and solitary singletons (single
or resingled) using this new term throughout her book of the same name.
Those who qualify for this cute but descriptive title
will find themselves in good company with the likes of Cher, George Clooney,
Steve Martin, and Oprah Winfrey, to name just a few. They are part
of a growing population in our society who live full and fun lives without
feeling the need to be party to a formalized marital relationship.
In fact many quirkyalones see no reason to even date for the purpose of
coupling. Their approach to being with others has more to do with
friendship and companionship without the need for pursuing a primary relationship.
Their need for independency, for any number of reasons, precludes the necessity
for a "significant other" in their lives. |
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Those whom Cagan interviewed for her book freely admitted
that they have resisted accepting any label describing their preference
for remaining single until she came up with "quirkyalones." Most
have approved of it and were happy to find a term that aptly fit both their
attitude and lifestyle.
The book is entitled, Quirkyalone:
A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics (Harper). It hit the
book stores in January of 2004. Those who think of themselves as
committed singles and those who love them will find Cagan's insights to
be well worth the reading of every page.
As the term begins to become used more often in our culture,
other terms such as "old maid," "spinster," and "confirmed bachelor" risk
extinction. However, even though this new all inclusive term stands
a good chance of catching on, there will always be men and women alike
who prefer their single status over any other kind of coupled relationship.
They have been with us always and will continue to be throughout the course
of human experience.
Whether it's their need to completely invest themselves
in a career or a mindset that simply cannot see themselves in a marital
relationship, the message to the rest of us is that they should be both
understood and accepted. |
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The Quirkyalone Quiz...
Are you a "quirkyalone?" Take this quiz and find
out.
Review the following characteristics while answering each
one as yes or no:
1. I display a talent for self-reflection.
2. I trust the idea of a prosperous, interesting existence with or
without a mate.
3. I create and maintain chosen clusters of friends.
4. I see life as a big choose-your-own-adventure kind of thing.
5. I support the idea of dating but not necessarily for the purpose
of coupling.
6. I prefer solitude to a relationship in which I have to restrain
any essential part of myself.
7. I feel a general compulsion to leave my mark on culture or society--to
express myself through art, business, literature, or even social activism.
8. I recognize the ways in which society prescribes happiness primarily
through romantic love and perceive this approach to be a human failing.
9. I recall a taste or glimpse of a great relationship/encounter, which
intensified my desire to be open to a similar experience again.
10. I possess a talent for the deconstruction of love songs equal only
to my vulnerability to them. |
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| Answers:
0 to 3 "Yes" responses: Sorry,
but you're not a quirkyalone. You should sign up with an Internet
matchmaking service as soon as possible and find out where all the singles
hang out in your area.
4 to 6 "Yes" responses: You
are a borderline quirkyalone. This means that you may still want
to live with another almost quirkyalone and be a quirkytogether couple
or might just want to sleep in your own room while your significant other
sleeps in his/her own room, too.
7 to 10 "Yes" responses: You
are definitely a quirkyalone. Instead of romancing another person,
you will spend your life romancing life for all it's worth. Along
with a growing segment of society who are committed to remaining single,
you now can refer to everyone like yourself using one single word.
You're a quirkyalone!
© all rights reserved - 2/12/2004
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Vincent's Commentary
on "Quirky Alones"
Still, the bottom line is that all of us have the same
basic need to love and be loved. Regardless of whether or not we
are "quirky alones," the need for relationship is woven into the fabric
of all human beings.
As one who has been blessed to have experienced being
loved twice in a lifetime, I count myself as a guy who has been very lucky
in love. However, truth be told, luck was not as much a factor as
was learning how to get past the divorce from my ex-wife of thirty-plus
years so that I could move on. Having successfully accomplished that,
I found the new love of my life at Match.com (see banner above).
We met through that site, dated, fell in love, and
got married. Since then, we have enjoyed three anniversaries.
Yet, our past experience has taught us that we need to continue to work
on building our relationship if we are going to make this work for the
rest of our lives.
So, if you are a quirky alone, you might want to find
another quirky alone at Match.com.
I did and I am not alone any more. |
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The mission of this not-for-profit website is to promote clear insights
and toleration regarding the many variations of primary relationships that
exist in our world. We ask for neither acceptance or approval but
hope that each visitor who reviews the pages of this site will leave them
with a better understanding of the numerous cultural, historical, preferential,
religious, sexual, and sociological approaches to coupling that have always
existed and will continue to exist as long as there are at least two human
beings living on this planet. If the effort put into creating and
maintaining this site results in others coming to the realization that
the basic human need to love and be loved takes on many forms which are
accepted by those who practice them, whether right or wrong as determined
by the personal belief system of others, then it will have served it's
purpose well. |
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