Okay, so you burned your bras and now you are liberated.
Yes, you've gained many freedoms that were previously not acceptable for
You can ask a man for a date and even be the one who proposes
if you decide to do so.
You can pursue your own careers and many of you have proven
that you are quite capable of leading as well as following.
You can drink beer straight from the bottle, go to male
stripper shows, smoke cigars, and use any choice cuss word that you want;
whereever you want.
You are indeed liberated.
You've worked hard for it, you've earned it, and no one
should deny you what countless generations of your gender have struggled
and sacrificed to accomplish.
However, none of this makes you necessarily attractive,
desired, wanted, or pursued.
In fact, should you be one of those women who is caught
up in the current trend to act and be "bitchy," doing so actually makes
you very unattractive in the eyes of most men. Yes, you say that
you can live without men who will not readily accept you should you have
a bitchy attitude? Fine. Just realize that you've narrowed
the field of men down to a very small minority. Furthermore, any
willingness on their part to give in to a woman who feigns equality when
really exercising control may be more out of their desparation than any
kind of true acceptance.
Before you dismiss the rest of this article, please read
on. It could very well be that the point being made here will help
any female reader gain some needed insight into the workings of the male
mind and visa-versa.
You see, few males would ever demean a woman who has done well
in her chosen career. Most of us enjoy a gal with some spunk.
One of this writer's favorite movie scenes is from "Overboard,"
starring Goldie Hawne and Kirk Russell. Her character joins him for
a beer at a redneck bar. When she reaches for her drink, Russell's
character states that, "I've always been attracted to women who drink their
beer straight from the bottle." The point is that we men enjoy
our women in all shapes and sizes and with all of your liberties as well,
we are absolutely turned off and disgusted when you feel that you can only
relate to us with an "attitude."
Men See You...
Much like the gay male who overdoes his femininity with
flamboyance, we view a female who is overly aggressive, manipulative, demeaning,
and indignate in much the same way. There will never be any substitute
for the expression true humanity, whether it is demonstrated by a man or
a woman. Nothing is more attractive to a male than a liberated woman
with a balanced attitude that is genuine and considerate.
I happen to work in an environment filled with young adults.
Not only that, but I have two grown sons. If overly aggressive
women could but hear the disgust for them as these young fellows talk,
they would have to reconsider their self-deluded arrogance that demands
they portray themselves as bitchy women. Except for whimps, there
are few real men who really want anything to do with women who are self-gradiozed
and demeaning toward men.
These are the same women who revel in denigrating men
for their supposed cluelessness. In truth, this issue has less to
do with any difference between the sexes and much more to do with whether
or not one is going to be a decent human being.
I've had the experience of dating a woman who, although
she was physically gorgeous, portrayed a superior attitude in all that
she said and did. Her response to our four dates together resulted
in an e-mail message stating that I was very "basic and simple" and that
she was really looking for her "equal." Even if I am basic and simple,
the point is that she has obviously taken this attitude toward all men
because that was most of the content of our conversations--her thirteen
years of dating one "jerk" after another. However, I do think that
she deserves her "equal." After all, bitchy guys do exist as well.
Like my four-date-nightmare, there are too many
women who complain about men not being romantic. The truth is that
we guys are very capable of being romantic. It's just that a woman
with a self-centered attitude isn't worth the effort on our part.
Oh, we'll go to bed with her as long as we can tolerate her barbs, griping,
and whining but don't think for one minute that we are going to ever get
down on one knee and ask if she would like to wear our engagement ring.
No, that request will be saved for a truly liberated woman--the
one who is liberated from herself.
In a perfect world, liberated
women would be less aggressive and good men would be much more understanding
regarding how to treat a woman more as a person than prey. Those
couples who are enjoying a truly mutually fulfilling relationship are doing
so because they have worked at developing balance, understanding each other,
and relearning the simple truth that all of us need to be treated as valued
human beings if we are to love truly and feel genuinely loved in return.
The world isn't perfect but, then
again, each of us has the ability to readjust our thinking so that we can
bring both maturity and understanding to our own primary relationships.
Either that or we'll just have to
adapt to being unhappy and very much alone.
May every woman experience nothing
but the right to be free in every way and do well in whatever they attempt
to do with no man-made obstacles to have to confront along the way.
That is your right and that is what your fore-mothers worked so hard to
accomplish for you.
All I am saying here is that some
of you are obviously making the mistake of becoming exactly what you have
historically hated in men.
Don't be a bitch and if you are
one, don't blame it on men. Take responsibility for yourselves and
be our friends, companions, counterparts, equals, lovers, and partners.
You'll be a much happier person
and so will they.
© all rights reserved - 10/22/2001-
The mission of this not-for-profit website is to promote clear insights
and toleration regarding the many variations of primary relationships that
exist in our world. We ask for neither acceptance or approval but
hope that each visitor who reviews the pages of this site will leave them
with a better understanding of the numerous cultural, historical, preferential,
religious, sexual, and sociological approaches to coupling that have always
existed and will continue to exist as long as there are at least two human
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the basic human need to love and be loved takes on many forms which are
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