My best attempt
matters of the
heart and soul
you've been through all or most of my site by now. Should that be
the case, I trust that you've picked up on the purpose and tone of my little
attempt to help others maneuver through the infinite number of complexities
regarding life, love, romance, and relationships. At least, this
has been my intention since the inception of this site. If it does indeed
fulfill it's purpose, then no one could be happier than this webmaster.
I had to put just one more section up on to the site where I am free to
vent--a place where I throw caution to the wind and say it as I see it,
even if it's only from my point of view.
if indeed my insights and experience are of any value, you will still find
this page to be agreeable and even insightful. If not, please accept
my apologies. My purpose here is not to offend or upset anyone.
It is simply to state what I think while giving you an opportunity to respond.
Everyone enters into a relationship
Let me explain what I beleive to
be the most important and essential concept regarding human relationships.
In fact, too many people fail to understand this principle, thus, losing
and ending up alone again.
Furthermore, this same concept applies
to all human relationships. Those who understand and apply it will
be much more likely to enjoy longterm meaningful relationships with those
they love best.
Human relationships (especially
those which are intimate/romantic) are never static. Two people do
not fall in love, become romantically involved, and then maintain that
the relationship at a certain level without effecting it one way or the
Good things strengthen a relationship
and bad things weaken it.
Thus, every new relationship starts
with each of you beginning with $50.00.
Whenever you have allowed
negative elements to impact your relationship, you lose some of your money.
Angry arguments, hurting each other, violating
trust, and so many other things that damage a relationship are drains
on your love fund.
Conversely, there are those who
have invested wisely in to their primary
relationships. By consitently working on enriching what they share
with one another, the challenges that confront all couples are minimized
in their power to hurt the relationship. As a result, having doubled
and perhaps even tripled your original investment, the setbacks are not
Perhaps you are one of those who
is now up to $150.00 and confident that your relationship is going to only
increase with time. Then, again, you might be down to $1.98 and wondering
how soon it, too, will be before it completely slips out of your hand.
The good news is that, as long as
your relationship is not broke or bankrupt, there is hope.
The history of primary human relationships
is replete with true stories of couples who were ready to throw out their
last few cents but managed to turn it all around. In time, they got
their $50.00 back and even went on to experience a rich and happy life
How did they do it?
| Sometimes a determined individual
can motivate a discouraged mate to make a new commitment to reviving the
relationship. Nevertheless, it will take both of you to make it happen.
Happily, the resources you need
are many (click the underlined words for further information)....
Books: Go to any bookstore
of size and you will find an entire section devoted to improving relationships.
From Gray's "Men are From Mars; Women are From Venus" to the writings of
Dr. Phil, and everything in between, you can find books
dealing with every facet of human relationships.
Internet: The "information
highway" is replate with relationship sites. Some are not so good
and others are excellent. I trust that you will find my Romanceopedia
to be of help whether it is my section on romance
or any of the relationship types indicated on the buttons to the right
that might provide you with some helpful insights and ideas.
Support Groups: Finding others
in your same predicament or with your specific realtional issues is probably
not the way to go. However, networking with those who have successfully
overcome the same issues would be a real help. Use an Internet search
engine to locate such groups in your area. Find out what they are
all about and then make the effort to hook up with those who have been
where you are at but have resolved their problems.
Intimacy Issues: Again, my
web site is filled with numerous articles and helps for those who need
to put the "oomph!" back into their lovemaking. No one would argue
that a primary relationship with little sexual
intimacy is in danger of spending it's last nickel at any time.
It could be as complex as a medical issue that is causing the problem.
It could be as simple as rediscovering the joys of putting some romance
back into your relationship. Check out the "Romance"
and "Intimate" sections of my site.
Perhaps you will find some helps right here.
Counseling: Contrary to the
now ancient concept that professional counselors are only for insane people,
the value of seeking out well qualified assistance may very well be the
thing that gets your $50.00 back again. Do some research to find
a good counselor in your area; one who has
good references, is reasonably priced, and can help you develop the relational
tools you need to jumpstart your love again.
| Actually, all of the above resources are not only tremendous
helps for struggling couples but are those used by people who enjoy very
Of course, this list is not exhaustive.
Other resources may include anything from dear friends
who are in longterm successful relationships to locating a video series
on the subject at your local library. Furthermore, it may be found
in your spiritual faith or even just sitting down with your mate and saying,
"I love you. What should we do to fall in love again?"
What are you doing with your $50.00?
© all rights reserved - 12/22/2002
The mission of this not-for-profit website is to promote clear insights
and toleration regarding the many variations of primary relationships that
exist in our world. We ask for neither acceptance or approval but
hope that each visitor who reviews the pages of this site will leave them
with a better understanding of the numerous cultural, historical, preferential,
religious, sexual, and sociological approaches to coupling that have always
existed and will continue to exist as long as there are at least two human
beings living on this planet. If the effort put into creating and
maintaining this site results in others coming to the realization that
the basic human need to love and be loved takes on many forms which are
accepted by those who practice them, whether right or wrong as determined
by the personal belief system of others, then it will have served it's